12

Don't suffer in silence. Kremlinitis can be cured.

by Danielle Ryan

Are you currently following a radical path? Are your friends and family becoming increasingly concerned? Do your views occasionally diverge from the mainstream? Do you ever find yourself watching the BBC and thinking “hey, that doesn’t sound right”? Have you ever sneakily grabbed the TV remote and switched to RT when no one was looking? Have you been blocked by the President of Estonia on Twitter?
I don’t want to alarm you, but if you answered “yes” to any of the above questions, you might indeed be suffering from acute Kremlinitis.
Unfortunately, depending on the severity of your symptoms and the frequency of your thought-crimes, you could be in need of an intervention. In fact, regardless of the severity, you should seek help now.  You don’t need to be a full-blown ‘Putin-versteher’ to receive treatment.  Research has shown that if you allow your symptoms to fester, Kremlinitis becomes irreversible.
Luckily, two world-renowned propaganda experts and guardians of truth, Ed Lucas and Peter Pomerantsev have you covered.  The dynamic duo have envisioned a targeted, anti-brainwashing initiative designed specifically to treat sufferers like you.  The first step is admitting you have a problem.
Similar “deradicalization” efforts have targeted supporters of extremist Islamic ideology and have seen great success.  Thanks to the tireless efforts of Lucas and Pomerantsev, who have devoted their lives to The Truth, the same methods can now be employed against anyone and everyone that questions the West’s permanent moral authority and accepted media narratives — particularly those who may have “fallen victim to Kremlin propaganda”.
It’s not too late.
You don’t have to suffer in silence.
There’s no need to feel embarrassed or ashamed.
Kremlinitis can infect anyone, at any time.
The road may be long, but the dangers are too great to go it alone. Your friends and family will be there to support you on your path back to righteousness and moral clarity. They are rooting for you.
We all are.
Note: If your symptoms are particularly severe (watching RT more than once a week, reading the works of known Kremlin agents like Stephen Cohen, etc.) you could be chosen for a new clinical trial, which is still in its early stages of development.
(Go to beatkremlinitis.com and enter your email address, home address, phone number and all your personal details to be the first to receive new details.)

© 2016 Danielle Ryan

SUPPORT OFFGUARDIAN

If you enjoy OffG's content, please help us make our monthly fund-raising goal and keep the site alive.

For other ways to donate, including direct-transfer bank details click HERE.

0 0 votes
Article Rating
Subscribe
Notify of
guest

12 Comments
newest
oldest most voted
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
Eurasia News Online
Eurasia News Online
Aug 7, 2016 8:51 AM

Reblogged this on Eurasia News Online.

bill
bill
Aug 6, 2016 9:13 AM

Its a sensible idea to have an economically sound lens through which to fully understand what domestic debt and deficits in fact truly represent so as to resist the “household economics ” propaganda which neoliberal media pumps out daily beside its neoimperialism against Russia/Syria/Iran etc , to buttress austerity programs which are simply aimed at increased corpocracy and monopoly capitalism at the expense of the poorest and when done here the Middle Class as has extensively happened across the USA where neither Trump nor HRC have even the vaguest understanding of the problem,on a level really with the Libertarians.(Yet Sanders through his Chief Economics Advisor Dr Kelton probably did have and his demise represents the high point of personal naivete) I would suggest that Prof Bill Mitchell has the most profound understanding and brilliant analysis of these issues available vis his blog, in the world today! The friends whom Kaivey above writes about are otherwise simple sheep who must somehow get away from Harding and from the BBC to find any useful insights into the real nature of capitalist predation which isolates weaker governments for exploitation under,Ukraine aside, the cover of the war on terror,whilst at home pursuing a vacuous demonisation of offending personalities Gaddafi,Assad,Putin etc. which the sheep gobble up…one would have hoped that Chilcot may have set off the shake-up these clones so badly need but somehow through lack of imagination,insight and resources they are prepared to seek out and study,Chilcot has already been compartmentalised,though the crowd-funded legal action by soldiers relatives may offer some shafts of light?
At the time of writing its only really US progressives who can offer any way out of the cul-de-sacs both Trump and Clinton offer the world and of these 2 despite clear character flaws Trump may even be the better choice. Not so for the assorted tortoises who truly believe that any woman in the WH is a step forward for equality

ultra909
ultra909
Aug 6, 2016 6:30 AM

You can lead a horse to water, but you cannot make it drink.
Similarly, knowledge cannot be force-fed and any attempts to do so will likely prove highly counterproductive.
So, let people live their lives in peace. Offer an opinion only when asked. Curiosity about your deviance will likely get the better of them before too long in any case. Avoid blurting out everything you know in one big brain-dump when you do so – it will likely overwhelm them. Remember how long it took you to reach your current state of knowledge and be gentle.

joekano76
joekano76
Aug 5, 2016 11:59 PM

Reblogged this on TheFlippinTruth and commented:
This is almost certainly the result of a virus (the-russians-dunnit) released personally by Putin.

Guest
Guest
Aug 5, 2016 10:35 PM

Good article that makes the serious counter points with humour.
I too feel out of step with the media, I am fortunate that I do have family and friends who look behind the headlines and try to find out all sides of a story.
The mass media all read from the same script – so it’s no surprise that people do believe negative things about all the people/ countries the U.S. and allies say are our enemies
I just wish some people would take a step back and ask them selves what the policies they follow in Iraq, Libya, Syria, ukraine have achieved? But they don’t snakes anything that happens as they do not end up the victims.
The politicians get rich and the public moves on to the next enemy.

Richard Le Sarcophage
Richard Le Sarcophage
Aug 5, 2016 11:36 PM
Reply to  Guest

For at least forty years, and increasingly over time, the Western MSM propaganda system has produced nothing much but Atlanticist Imperial propaganda, appeals to bigotry and hatred, exhortations to greed and impotent envy and worship of the glorious rich, and LIES. Lies 24/7, lies never admitted, never corrected, repeated endlessly, and all broadcast with complete Groupthink. Dissent from the Party Line ever dwindling, now approaches Absolute Zero. Yet the loathsome hypocrites, hate-mongers and liars who meet Emperor Rupert and the other grandees’ specifications, still have the ghastly chutzpah to call themselves the ‘Free Press’ and attack the likes of RT, where there is actually some diversity of opinion exhibited and some logic to the narrative and some congruence with the observable facts. A society with leading organs like the Western MSM sewer is moribund and poisonous, which we can also see if only we open our eyes.

reinertorheit
reinertorheit
Aug 5, 2016 9:36 PM

I was lucky enough to find a video of Edward Lucas explaining his theories to his next-door neighbour
https://youtu.be/oJ-9R6NCZ0A

Willem
Willem
Aug 5, 2016 8:44 PM

Kremlinitis is not an infection but a cure that is treating you from western media propaganda sickness. The cure is very potent. That is, once a ‘patient’ is treated with Kremlinitis, he or she can never catch western media propaganda sickness again.
Please note that the treatment of western media propaganda sickness does not prevent you from making you feel sick to your stomach every once in a while when you hear and read what they want you and others to believe in order for them to continue to kill, steal, rob, and pollute the planet. But those who are cured from western media propaganda sickness know that this feeling is much more preferable to western media propaganda sickness that makes you feel ‘dead to the world, but not actually dead, while still getting full credit for being alive’. Getting rid of western media propaganda sickness makes you really alive, that is.
Western Media propaganda sickness can be treated with Kremlinitis, but also with many other things like reading some good old books (like slaughterhouse 5, that I just quoted from), talking to people, NOT watching the news, and by thinking for yourself. Feeling compassion for others is also very effective in the treatment of western media propaganda sickness. I like to recommend the latter treatment, but tried all the other cures as well. They all have merit.
The proposed trial that the author refers to at the end of her article, is, I must warn to the western media propagandists, a waste of money and time (western media propagandists are only interested in money and time, so it’s fair from me to warn them that they are about to spoil that what they treasure most).
In addition, I highly expect fraud from the ‘scientists’, I mean propagandists, who will conduct the trial, as they have to proof, no matter what, that the treatment of Kremlinitis comes before western media propaganda sickness, and not the other way around. Selling bullshit as if it is the truth and nothing but the truth, is their expertise, I know, we all know here… However, selling bullshit as if it is truth doesn’t work anymore in people who are cured from western media propaganda sickness. People who are treated from it for instance with Kremlinitis will only laugh at the pityfull fools who try to fool the world but only fool themselves at best by doing an experiment as is proposed in the article above.
But for the fools who write western media propaganda as if it came straight from the gospels, it is a dead serious game they have to win. Just as it was in the good old days where Trofym Lysenko proved to the world (Pravda) that Nurture comes before Nature and not the other way around, as that shaped the agenda of Stalin nicely.
And that, actually, was not funny at all, as it led to imprisonment, starvation and death of Russian people who opposed Lysenkoism so that Stalin and Lysenko could keep their idea alive.
Hopefully western media propaganda is not as retarded as those Russians were in the 1930s-50s.

davidjsimpson1952
davidjsimpson1952
Aug 5, 2016 7:55 PM

i tried to go to beatkremlinitis.com but google says it isn’t. o dear. please help me

Kaivey
Kaivey
Aug 5, 2016 7:47 PM

I was in a text message conversation with an old friend the other day. We had caught up after many years. Be was a typical liberal: Putin and Assad are evil, etc. It was as if he believed everything he had read in the Guardian and watched on the BBC was true. So I told him how the US may be backing ISIS to fight its wars in the Middle East, via Turkey and Saudi Arabia. How Washington caused a coup in the Ukraine costing thousands of lives with the aim of closing down the Russian gas pipeline to Europe. That we had caused a civil war in Syria so that we can get gas pipelines from Saudi Arabia and Qatar to Europe, etc. Well my friend couldn’t handle that, here’s his reply:
Hahaha – your so funny! You’ll be telling me next that the world is round and not flat and that Donald Trump isnt really Vladimir Putin in drag! Haha Whatever next? Dont tell me – Mulder isnt really working for the FBI investigating X-Files – its just science fiction and he’s some 2nd rate actor playing a role! hehe – now if you think I’d believe that you really would think I’ve lost it. I’m not that stupid! 🙂 Anyway I’m off for a pint….
So I went out with another old friend I have recently caught up with the other day (who is friends with my friend above) and I had almost the same reaction. He’s a Labour supporter, like me, but he believes that Putin is evil who gets his rivals shot, etc. To him Putin is an oligarch gangster, an ex KGB officer who is totally evil like those sinister Russian secret agents in James Bond films.
He thought I had moved to the right when I said that Trump might be better than Hilary and that Nigel Farage was right about British foreign policy. So to prove my left credentials I told him that I was a big supporter of George Galloway, and after that our conversation almost came to an end.
I never thought I would become so critical of liberals and begin to despise them so much (not my friends, obviously). But they have moved to the hawkish right. Well, I’m not a communist and I would say that I was in the centre. And I believe that not only is there a place for capitalism in our society, it is also the bedrock of our society (but not in public services). And I’ve bought all the arguments about incentives, competition, innovation, etc, but it’s just too extreme and brutal in its present form. A citizens wage/ basic income may be the answer.
And when it came to banking my friend was completely for the status quo. Debt makes the world go around, he said. One person’s debt was another person’s wealth that they can spend into the economy, so it doesn’t matter about debt, he told me. This is text book BS.
I looked across the bar and saw all the young people who probably have no money because of huge student loans, many of whom may have to rent a house for the rest of their lives because they will never be able to afford to get on the property ladder. I said to my friend, but you are part of the 2%, you’ve done alright out of it.
My friend insisted that we will never be able to change the system, no one can. He was an apologist for New Labour, who were much better than the Conservatives, he said. So if a party can cause the deaths of millions of people all over the world, leave the Middle East in ruins, it’s okay because the Conservatives would have been much worse. What kind of argument is that?.
My friends and I are all meeting up together for a pint soon. I will have to try to make sure it doesn’t descend into one big argument.

davidjsimpson1952
davidjsimpson1952
Aug 5, 2016 8:00 PM
Reply to  Kaivey

forgive me, but you sound a bit Polish. where are you meeting? can any idiot come? I think I agree totally with everything you haven’t actually said

Richard Le Sarcophage
Richard Le Sarcophage
Aug 6, 2016 12:08 AM
Reply to  Kaivey

Over the last forty years the Right in the West have become totally dominant in every sphere of life. They have, through the entirely Rightwing brainwashing system of the MSM. advertising, PR and ‘entertainment’, indoctrinated the populace into the Right’s habits of insatiable greed, contempt for, even hatred of others, preposterous egomania and complete absence of human empathy, particularly for the poor, weak and downtrodden. In other words the psychopaths have made their ‘societies’ psychopathic. The evidence, in growing poverty, inequality, social savagery etc, is irrefutable.
Societies like this are cancers on humanity. The concatenation of disasters created by the Right, the economic implosion under debt, inequality and mass poverty, the ecological catastrophe of numerous synergistic crises, and the geo-political aggression of the deranged Evil of Thanatopolis DC and its stooges, is not only furiously denied in the MSM sewer, but, alternatively, celebrated hysterically as ‘Western Moral Values’ that the rest of the world MUST adopt, or their countries will be destroyed and their people slaughtered. We are stuffed, and have been for decades. It’s certain by 2100, but probably 2050, thanks to ecological collapse, but the aggression against Russia presages a much earlier exeunt omnes.