Luke Harding : the hack who came in from the cold
Catte Black
Luke Daniel Harding (born 1968) studied English at University College, Oxford. While there he edited the student newspaper Cherwell. He worked for The Sunday Correspondent, the Evening Argus in Brighton and then the Daily Mail before joining The Guardian in 1996. He was the Guardian’s Russia correspondent from 2007-11.
Aside from his more publicly known achievements, it’s worth noting Harding was accused of plagiarism by Mark Ames and Yasha Levine of the eXile for publishing an article under his own name that lifted large passages almost verbatim from their work. The Guardian allegedly redacted portions of Harding’s article in response to these accusations.
According to his own testimony, Luke Harding is the guy who realised he was in the siloviki cross hairs one day when, during his stay in Moscow as the Guardian’s bureau chief, he came home and found one of his bedroom windows open.
A less situationally-aware person would have made the fatal mistake of thinking one of his kids or his wife had done it, or he’d done it himself and just forgotten, or that his landlord had popped in to air the rooms (a bit of a tendency in Russia apparently). But Luke was sure none of his family had opened the window. So it had to have been the FSB.
You see, Luke isn’t confined as we are by the constraints of petty mundanity. That was why it had been so clear to him, even without any evidence, that the FSB had murdered Litvinenko. And that was why Luke took one look at that open window and realised the entire Russian intelligence machine was out to get him….
The dark symbolism of the open window in the children’s bedroom was not hard to decipher: take care, or your kids might just fall out. The men – I assume it was men – had vanished like ghosts.
And that was only the start of the vicious campaign that was to follow. Tapes were left in his cassette deck, when he knew he hadn’t put them there. An alarm clock went off when he knew he hadn’t set it. Luke was filled with ” a feeling of horror, alarm, incredulity, bafflement and a kind of cold rational rage.”
Things developed rapidly. Luke went to visit a woman called Olga who warned him to take care, because he was “an enemy of Putin.” He was sure someone had hacked his email account. Whenever he said the name “Berezovsky” his phone line would go dead, so he started using the word “banana” instead. A person from the Russian president’s office called and asked for his mobile number. Unable to imagine a single good reason why a Russian government official would need a cell phone number for the Guardian’s Russia bureau chief, he refused.
That wily Putin wasn’t going to catch him that easily. The game of cat and mouse had begun.
A middle-aged woman with a bad haircut knocked at his door at 7am, and walked away when he opened it. Had she just gone to the wrong door? Of course not, it was the FSB taunting him. At the airport on his way back to London a man with a Russian accent (in Moscow!) tapped him on the back and told him there was something wrong with his jacket. Noticing the man was wearing a leather coat, which meant he must be from the KGB, Luke immediately rushed to the gents and took off all his clothes to find the “bugging device” the man had planted on him. He didn’t find one, but that didn’t mean it wasn’t there.
When the Russian government launched its prosecution of Berezovsky for fraud, someone from the FSB phoned Luke and asked him to come in and make a statement about the interview he’d conducted with the man a short time before. They also advised him to bring a lawyer, which seemed sinister to Luke. A man called Kuzmin interviewed him for 55 minutes. Luke got quite thirsty, but wouldn’t drink the fizzy water he was offered, because he was pretty sure it had been tampered with. Surprisingly Kuzmin didn’t interrogate him as expected, but Luke decided this was because the FSB were trying to intimidate him. They probably didn’t need to do an interrogation, thought Luke, since they’d been breaking in to his flat almost every day for like – ever, switching on his alarm clock and probably also bugging his phone.
After the western-backed Georgian invasion of South Ossetia Luke was amazed to note there was widespread antagonism toward western journalists in Moscow. And the FSB just would not leave him alone. Worried by this “campaign of brutishness” he decided to keep a log of the dreadful things they were doing. Reading this we find not only did they continue to regularly open his windows, they once turned off his central heating, made phantom ringing sounds happen in the middle of the night (Luke couldn’t find where they were coming from), deleted a screen saver from his computer and left a book by his bed about getting better orgasms.
All this would have broken a lesser man. But Luke didn’t break. Maybe that’s why in the end, they knew they’d have to expel him like in the old Soviet days. Which is what they did. Well, they didn’t renew his accreditation, which is the same thing. They pretended it was because he didn’t have the right paperwork for an extended visa and offered him a short extension so his kids could finish up at school. But Luke knew it was actually a Soviet-style expulsion. Because Luke can always see the real game when most of us just can’t.
He demanded to know if President Medvedev had been told – personally – that Luke was going home. The person in the press department he was speaking to just sort of looked at him and didn’t say anything.
Luke was pretty sure he worked for the FSB.
So he went home, got on the lecture circuit and wrote a book all about his terrible experiences in Vladimir Putin’s neo-Stalinist hell. But just when he thought all his espionage problems were over, they started up again when he began his book about Edward Snowden.
This time it was the NSA, GCHQ and a host of other western agencies stalking him. The PTB obviously realised that Luke’s book would be much much more of a threat to national security than even Snowden himself, and did everything they could to try to stop him writing it. They followed him around (he knew they were agents because they had iPhones) and even used spy technology to remote-delete sentences from his computer – while he was typing them. Especially when he was writing mean things about the NSA. But after he typed “I don’t mind you reading my manuscript… but I’d be grateful if you don’t delete it”, they realised they’d met their match and stopped.
He wasn’t sure if the culprits were NSA, GCHQ or a Russian hacker, but one thing it definitely wasn’t was a glitchy keyboard.
I mean that would just be stupid.
NOTE: In case any of our readers are (understandably) inclined to think we must be making this up or exaggerating, we encourage them to read about it here and here in Luke’s own words. You’ll find we have merely summarised them.
Yes, he really does believe everything attributed to him in this article. He really does think the FSB were opening his windows. And he really did run to the public toilet and take all his clothes off because a man tapped him on the back in an airport.
We also recommend you take in this opinion piece by Julian Assange, and this one by a Brit ex-pat in Moscow.
After that feel free to complete the following questionnaire:
Is Luke Harding:
- “the reporter Russia hated”
- an “enemy of Putin”
- a borderline psychotic paranoiac, whose narcissistic delusions have been deliberately encouraged and exploited by an intelligentsia that will use any old crap it can find to further its agenda
- a bit of a tosser
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4 Definitely
[…] In his defense, Luke might genuinely believe it, cum hoc ergo propter hoc is a favorite amongst paranoid personalities, of which Luke is definitely a prime example. […]
[…] author of the second piece on ‘how Russia fights propaganda war’ was, ironically, Luke Harding, the paper’s former Moscow-based correspondent who regularly churned out pro-West propaganda […]
Reblogged this on BertieS.
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Amusing… This poor deluded man is just embroidering on the usual stories about Communist-era spy goings-on.
I like the “an enemy of Putin” line – told by “Olga” (did he have such a friend or he’s just picked the most standard Russian female name for his novella?): how can such a foolish, insignificant man be considered an enemy of Putin?
But the real giveaway is his demanding “to know if President Medvedev had been told – personally – that Luke was going home.”
Delusions of grandeur, and the typical confabulations that go with this condition
The mere asking of such a question makes you “KGB” in Luke’s eyes.
Nobody ever got poor from this sort of thing so long as it was sufficiently rabidly anti Russian.
Ask Louise Mensch.
Luke Harding is indeed a piss-poor journalist. He is one of the reasons I gave up on the Grauniad after 20 years; and I persuaded my siblings to look farther afield for real news. Such an irrational man, unless of course you assume that he is not a hack but a low-level CIA stooge.
The force once again fails to materialise for Luke as TheRealNews Aaron Maté sends him scurrying back to his conspiracy theories safespace during this brutal interview on Luke’s latest fictional release titled “Collusion”.
http://therealnews.com/t2/story:20761:Debate:-Where%27s-the-%27Collusion#pop1
Even the Soros-Worshipper cargo cultists running the Guardian must surely realise by now that Luke’s becoming a liability.
https://twitter.com/jeremyscahill/status/945324064494714881
Rekt,
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Luke Harding’s article on Grozny and Chechnya is a classic of the sour grapes variety.
“The once war-torn country has been transformed, but change has come at a price”
https://www.theguardian.com/world/2008/feb/22/russia
To the best of my knowledge, Chechnya is still enjoying its peace and prosperity – totally unsupportable.
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[…] It is staggering that, no matter the utter and complete failures of logic, no matter the number of totally incorrect rampant speculations they publish, the MSM will simply continue to push insane narratives about Russia, written by a man with only the flimsiest grasp on reality. […]
You have to remember that without old Luke we’d not have as much fun reading pages like this!!! That’s likely the only positive outcome of what he writes but a very important one.
In this ‘insane asylum’ light relief coupled with ‘some decent perspectives’ is a god send. For those that like this page / the humour you might like this site: http://ckm3.blogspot.co.uk/
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So, the time has come. Surrounded by the KGB (they no longer exist Ed) Surrounded by the KGB (they no longer exist!! Ed) i, Luke Harding pen this my last will and testament. For though the end has come, (Hurrah! Ed) my enemies made one final mistake, by thinking they could take me alive. They left me the Book, the noble karma sutra
No Walter Mitty I, I carry no arsenic pills about me for such a mournful deed as this. No, I, a writer, a cavalier of the epistolary kind, shall use The Book they left me on my bedside table, the noble Kama sutra. And now, gently removing the cellophane – to my children I bequeath my writing talent, to Pussy Minor disturbance (here he seems to be attempting to outwit the KGB Ed.) my gift for self promotion, and to my wife, Phoebe, my greatest possession, my reputation. And now, gently removing the cellophane, (you see, phoebe, your bootless cries at bedtime fell not on deaf ears, I will use it once, as I promised) and turning the page, I see the very position with which to foil my enemies (who must almost be upon me, for I heard the catflap flap) – “Chicken Butter pasanda, also known as the headless chicken”. (How ironic, Ed.) Like the chicken, my head also shall be hidden from view. Here goes! England, though I never knew you (very true, Ed) perhaps you will vouchsafe me a place among the poets? Here goes again! Butter? Tick. Dilate? Tick. Bloody hell, I never realised I had such a big head! Push! Push! They shall not catch me alive!
Like a candle in the wind….oooff! I really shouldn’t have had extra beans. England, I do it for thee! But hold, what’s this I see? Tracks? Caterpillar tracks? Tank tracks?!! My god! Wait till Shaun sees these, it’s the biggest scoop of all time! And it’s mine! I must stop this foolshness now. KGB, be damned! Maybe they’ll now take me back at the Daily Mail. I must remove my head from my….
(at this point, the recording ends Ed. he will be missed Ed the world will be a sadder place Ed there will be less laughter in the world without him. Phew. Got it. Ed)
Being serious for a change, one has to ask: if Luke Harding is so lousy as a journalist, and The Guardian had to pay some compensation to The eXile for plagiarising Mark Ames and another guy’s work, why didn’t the paper send Harding back to journalism school to do an ethics course, as The Independent had to do with Johann Hari when he was caught plagiarising other work? Or why didn’t The Guardian get rid of Harding?
Is LDH with The Guardian for the same reason that American news media like The New York Times and The Washington Post among others always had someone in their offices who couldn’t spell or write to save their own lives, much less others’ lives, but who rose up the ranks quickly nevertheless – because they were really working for the CIA?
Lordy, lordy, great article and the comments just creased me up too! Best laugh I have had since Obomber got the Peace Prize.
Seriously though I am so pleased to have found this site, even though it might be preaching to the converted. It restores some sense of sanity at the end of a long day.
PS: The correct answer is 3 AND 4
I claim my £5
Can you please do Lucas and the horrible Neo Con Weiss.
Brilliant
Luke wrote:
I ventured out the next morning. My laptop was in the unlocked safe. (It didn’t contain any secrets; merely a work in progress.) A tall American immediately accosted me. He suggested we go sightseeing. He said his name was Chris. “Chris” had a short, military-style haircut, new trainers, neatly pressed khaki shorts, and a sleek steel-grey T-shirt. He clearly spent time in the gym. Tourist or spook? I thought spook.
I decided to go along with Chris’s proposal: why didn’t we spend a couple of hours visiting Rio’s Christ the Redeemer statue? Chris wanted to take my photo, buy me a beer, go for dinner. I declined the beer and dinner, later texting my wife: “The CIA sent someone to check me out. Their techniques as clumsy as Russians.” She replied: “Really? WTF?”
WTF indeed. Dude, Chris just fancied you.
Shortly before I was banned from Komment Macht Frei, Mr. Harding popped up in the CiF column in which I had just made a comment ridiculing his “journalism” to state that he believed that I am probably a member of the FSB.
Московский Ссыльный, Полковник ФСБ
Luke Harding is not a journalist; he is the perennial centrefold in an imaginary magazine called “Smug Prick”. There is an irreconcilable gap between the Luke Harding he sees in the mirror and the chowderhead we all know and mock. The Guardian keeps him on because it does not give a tin weasel why you read, just as long as you read. It does not care if you do so with gritted teeth, murmuring obscenities.
Luke Harding, even tapping his name onto my keyboard makes me think he is watching over my shoulder. Get away! Luke! Get away!
In terms of honesty and journalistic integrity when it comes to geopolitics, he is simply the worst journalist I’ve ever had the misfortune to read.
When the whole Ukraine thing started and the Guardian thought all their readers were insular and stupid, they had our hero writing a whole slew of anti-Russia articles….alongside opening their comments section.
Bad “mistake” on their part.
It did not take long for readers to start pointing out the hilarious lies, half truths and smears in Mr Harding’s articles.
How did he/they respond ?
Not only did he start moderating comments himself, he (and Shaun Walker) had readers banned for highlighting the “inconsistency” in their reporting. Ha! Good luck with that.
It was quite pitiful to see him yesterday on the Grauniad’s ‘Troll Factory’ story maoaning, whining and blaming the readers for not beliveing his “truthful” reporting on Russia haha.
It’s going to be fascinating to see how he and his pals report the upcoming battle in Syria between Russia/Syria/Iran/China VS America/ISIS/Israel and Saudi Arabia.
Fun times
yes indeed, hilarious article on the Guardian about how people who dare to dispute their propaganda are either Russian or brainwashed.
http://www.theguardian.com/world/live/2015/sep/08/russia-troll-army-red-web-any-questions
Way to go Guardian, vilify your regular readership. That should really sort out your revenue problems.
Surely it’s obvious to all that Luke Harding is an establishment stooge isn’t it? He might even be MI5 (not 6 – he’s not smart enough)
Just started reviewing Harding’s past articles and agree he is clearly a stooge but I can’t decide whether he is Curly Larry or Mo.