Guardian Watch, Kit, latest, Russia

NATO Branch Chief: “The Russians are coming, my cleaner says so!”

by Kit

Pictured: Janis Sarts and all the evidence cited in his report

Pictured: Janis Sarts and all the evidence cited in his report

You might think that an article that alleges that the Kremlin is masterminding unrest in Europe by supporting right-wing extremism, left-wing extremism, anti-Europe sentiment, anti-refugee sentiment and conducting television interviews with Nigel Farage and Jeremy Corbyn…with the possible end-game of invading Latvia…to be a little “out there”. You might say that unfounded, irrational arguments of this kind – backed by no evidence at all – do not belong in a “serious” newspaper.

The Guardian, however, disagrees. They published ittwice in 24 hours.

It’s all based around this report – from Jānis Sārts at the NATO Strategic Command Centre of Excellence – that found a MASSIVE 1.45% of internet comments on Latvian social media in summer 2014 MAY HAVE BEEN Russian “trolls” (the correct term is shill, or sock-puppet, but getting things right has never been a big part of the NATO game-plan). “How can you tell they are Russian trolls” you ask? They repeat content and have bad grammar. Yes, seriously.

This mighty 1.45% of Latvian internet comments, coupled with RT, Angela Merkel’s open border policy, George Galloway and pictures of girls in bikinis all make up the Russian masterplan to shatter Europe and build an Empire on its ashes. I’m not joking. I wish I was.

This may all seem very far-fetched, but don’t fall for the Russian propaganda – Lieutenant-Colonel Simon West, branch chief at the Nato centre in Riga, has got it all figured out: Putin is planning on using Eastern Europe as a bulwark against the encroachment of “liberal democracies”.

I sometimes think I’m imagining it, but when I drove into the office today, the radio switched from music to a Russian news programme” Lt. Col. Simon West

That’s right – while he sometimes doubts his sanity (who can blame him?) he quickly changes his mind when a Russian news programme comes on the radio….in Latvia.

I wish this was satire. I wish I was joking. But this:

My cleaner is sure they are coming, as I am sure many Latvians are.” West pauses, staring at the map. “I dunno, he’s mischievous,” he adds of Putin. “I’ve got a feeling of expectation that something is going to happen.”

Is beyond parody.


  1. Super article. Written with wit and humour and exactly what I thought of this twerp, when I read it in the Guardian.

  2. tezla valve says

    The Russians are coming? Maybe, they’ll save us from Stalinist EU oppression. I’m getting the bunting out, just in case.

  3. “I’ve got a feeling of expectation that something is going to happen.”

    You can say what you like about NATO, but I’m putting all my money on this guy. Some are born great, some become great, and some have greatness thrust upon them, and you can say the same about the gift of foresight. And I have a premonition that this guy is right. Something is going to happen.

  4. It really is quite strange that those who most often object to others to be “conspiracy theorists” – themselves are spreading the very most crazy conspiracy theories

  5. shaksvshav says

    Straight from the Edward Bernays school of propaganda.

  6. M. says

    I was mad because last week I got banned from commenting on their site (followed of course by an e-mail asking me to give them 5 quid for their “independent journalism”), but looking at the rubbish they publish and the comments reacting to it, I don´t think anymore that there is need to call out their lies and manipulations, they just have reached such levels of idiocy and blatant bias that they are digging their own grave.

    Two years ago, when I started commenting, at least they pretended to have an interest in impartiality, we could at least have the occasional Milne or Pilger, a good article on the economic factors behind the war in Syria, etc. Nowadays they make unintelligible pieces of crap quoting not only NATO´s officials but their cleaners and offer it like the zenith of progressive thought and “independent journalism”, like if the entirety of their readers were some kind of moronic brainwashed beings too daft to approach The Mail or even The Sun.

    For my part I will not even click on anything associated with them anymore, I would encourage everyone to do the same.

  7. Michaelk says

    What’s not particularly amusing, is that these NATO people remind one of the deranged military characters in Kubrick’s dark satire… ‘Dr. Strangelove’, to the extraordinary level that some of them have even changed their surnames to match their fictional counterparts… Breedlove, for example.

    What isn’t really funny, but grotesque, is that the Guardian, a paper that once had a liberla slant and a reputation to uphold, prints this stuff… blatant, paranoid, anti-Russian propanganda, with a casual contempt for rationality and facts, that makes one think WW3 has already broken out, maybe it has?

  8. As the population of Latvia consists of one million Russians, making up 34%, they won’t have far to go. Do these journalists do any research at all?

  9. Reality Check says

    I spent a month last summer in Lithuania and took a somewhat impromptu poll of what Lithuanians thought about a ‘Russian invasion’. To a man (and woman), no one thought the notion worthy of consideration., including a woman in the government itself. One or two told me that their leader, Dalia, was on a warpath and a bit unhinged and were more concerned of those consequences than from any ‘illusory Russian invasion’.

    In short, don’t believe a word coming from these self-perpetuating NATO shills.

  10. Les says

    After 3,300 contributions, CiF closed the comments. The overwhelming majority (90%+) easily identified that the article was just plain rubbish. Merkel isn’t being destabilised by Putin. She’s doing an excellent job of that by herself unaided.

    • Brad Olson says

      We all had a field day in the comments section. The final score was: NATO 0, Pbots 3000.

  11. Seamus Padraig says

    At face value, yes–this is so ridiculous. However, a somewhat darker possibility could be that they preparing psychologically for some ‘unforeseen’ future event.

  12. James Carless says

    “you couldn’t make stuff like this up !” is an oft heard expression of incredulity and exasperation used by comedians.
    NATO can and does,knowing it has a servile media that will put this type of driveling codswallop on the front pages on the same day throughout europe without questioning the facts,source or motives beyond the comforting cognitive dissonance of accepting the “it’s all Putin’s fault” mantra.
    Meanwhile thousands of brave turkish men and women are being tear gassed and blasted with water cannons in the capital as they try to protect the last vestiges of press freedom from Erdogan’s terrorist supporting police state,barely worth a mention on the contrary, the Guardian publishes another history twisting, jobsworthy piece on how important it is to work WITH the bloody criminal as he bombs the Kurds,steals their oil and arms al nusra with sarin gas.
    Couldn’t make up such bollox indeed, I don’t know if to laugh or cry with shame.

  13. Beyond parody indeed. But sadly people fall for this nonsense.

    I was talking to a seemingly sane professional person about random things at a do on Saturday who was utterly convinced beyond doubt that Russia had already invaded half of Ukraine and had thousands of tanks on Ukranian soil menacing Kiev and beyond.

    • Reality Check says

      I’ll one up you on that. Back in December, I had a brief conversation with a local town official who out of the blue started in on Putin with the usual MSM parrot routine. To cut the diatribe short (patience wears thinner with time), I asked him ‘Well, who overthrew the elected president in Ukraine?”…..took him maybe a 1/10″ of a second to blurt out ‘Putin!”.

      What can you do when the entire nation’s been zombified, other than bite your lip?

  14. Russia is trying to topple Angela Merkel. By waging war. Information war. Or agitation. You know, making people nervous. Using Russian speakers on social media, which explains why you personally have never come across any of it. Almost imperceptibly, because it involves people that are already stirred up, for instance about mass immigration. If you think the far right narrative is worrying enough, imagine Russia using and exploiting it! And simultaneously doing the same with the far left narrative, as Russia has a track record funding extremist forces in Europe. Right and left, they are “in the Russian picture as of possible use”, as long as they are extreme. And once placed in the picture, they are reduced to puppets. Easy as that.

    You may have failed to see any sign of all this, but NATO is vigilant! NATO’s most senior expert on strategic communications believes that there is evidence of Russia trying to stir up trouble in Germany. He can’t disclose any of that evidence now, as he speaks merely as an expert, senior no less, rather than as a NATO spokesman, but he has access to intelligence briefings, so what he believes exists cannot be doubted by those who lack similar access. He thinks Russia tests if it can create a circumstance through their influence where there is change of top leadership in Germany. You see? A circumstance! And Russia creates it by using “influence”. Invisible, inaudible, like a faerie. Our senior NATO expert doesn’t want to scare us too much, but when he thinks Russia is now testing what it can do, the implication is that at any moment in the future it may flicks the switch and there will be regime change in Germany. Or any other country that turns a blind eye to Putin’s propaganda war. Ignore NATO’s warnings at your own peril!

    The above is the abbreviated content of an article by The Guardian, which is associated with the American propaganda institute Radio Free Europe / Radio Liberty. (See:

    P.S. If you are still struggling with the notion of “circumstance”, match that concept with the elections in three of Germany’s sixteen regions next week. Germans, you have just been told by NATO that a vote against the Merkel coalition is a vote to let Russia run your country through extremists.

    I published the above at:

    • I don’t know what you’ve been snorting but I don’t want any. The US propaganda is matched only by the UK, German, French and Polish combined. The western media presstitutes rely on gullible fools and sadly there are enough of them it seems. When all information suggests evidence to the contrary some hapless fool will quote the propagandist claptrap, unless of course, they themselves are the NATO/US/Breedlove(Strangelove) sock puppets? It takes all sorts I suppose, but really? A NATO/US troll or “shill”, that’s the best you could aspire to? That’s just plain sad.

  15. bevin says

    Colonel West was the second place finisher- he won the silver whatdyecallit?- at the Ruling Class Twit of the Year celebration held in the grounds of Buckingham Palace. Chaps like him are famous for their political wisdom.

    • He got a Silver medal, I am surprised, I suppose Breedlove got the gold? So much competition these days for Twit/Twerp of the year so to get a silver medal is quite an achievement. What a shame then, he was ever allowed to move onward and upward.

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