Sep 22, 2023

In the lands of the Dodo bird

Sylvia Shawcross

Okay. The important thing is not to panic. It’s all going to be fine. We of the world may be going down in blazes not of glory but probably in blazes of gory and horrible, or whimpering and snivelling and all that but there are possibilities we haven’t yet considered.

For instance, they’ve found a new planet that can sustain life out there.

Yeah. I know, its about 150 light years away but we have scientists and engineers who are busily positing how we really don’t live in reality but can actually create untested hypotheses which will lead to the reality we want to believe. They’re probably on it already.

We will know because any such things will immediately involve summits in exotic only-reached-by-jet places, five-star-meal meetings, one-sided think tanks and pretend-its-true trial-run enactments, serious looking seminars with laser pointers, a global propaganda campaign, another world war and of course economic wrangling about it all. This in turn will lead to a premature launch of an expedition before full testing by whoever has the most money and wants the most acclaim.

Therefore we’ll have that little problem solved in a jiffy I suspect….

It doesn’t matter if it works. We just need to believe it is working. That’s all that matters. You know, that “feel” right kinda thing.

We need to believe that ALL of us, rich/poor/old/young/ugly/lgbtqaii+/purple and not just Elon Musk will have the opportunity to march onto a spaceship to salvation in short order.

That’s all that matters.

Now, in the meantime, we have Mauritius. Yes. You heard that right. We must all emigrate to Mauritius. I’m sure, even though they are one of the most populated countries in the world, they will have housing for us all. And rice. Well, you might ask, why the hell Mauritius?

It’s not complicated. Some of us have already figured it out. It’s that New Normal/Great Reset/Fourth Turning/WEF Utopia thing… [now to be referred to as NNGRFTWEFU… (to be fashionable because we are really nothing without an acronym in this world and nobody would take us seriously if we used actual words)] Well, the NNGRFTWEFU is being extraordinarily miserable to the people of this planet but particularly so in certain countries and to certain degrees. Now why would that be?

Oh, I know, I know… the first-world-westernized-five-eyes-colonialist-war-mongering-resource-stealing-patriarchal-polluting-racist-bastard-greedy countries filled with hubris and history and outrageous old white men and Walmarts needs to be taken down a peg or two.

Yes yes. We all know that. They told us this in that WEF video where they mentioned us owning nothing and being happy. Something about the Americans have to stop being who they are… It was all there for us to see. We just didn’t realize what that meant such as the entire collapse of civilization and stuff. But that’s a different rant. This rant is why they’re being so much meaner to some of us over others. Why is that?

Well the answer is easy peasy pudding and pie: it all depends on how much money we owe to the IMF. Well I think so anyway. That’s my conclusion. Mind you I live in a country where our finance-minister apparently accused the opposition party of fear-mongering by asking the question of how much we are paying to service the debt. Never did get an answer. I guess what we don’t know won’t hurt us or something. That is apparently a philosophy some people have. Particularly those who treat others like little wee children without a brain in their head who need to be told what to think and who need to be protected from scary things. But I digress…

Anyway, as I was saying, Mauritius owes the least amount of money to the IMF last I looked so the powers that be can’t throw their weight around there like they do elsewhere. Mauritius is like the survivalists in the back woods all hunkered down with canned tuna and rifles who happily thumb their noses and cackle about “nobody owns me” and “we can do what we want” stuff. Mauritius has lived its life so it can look any corporation in the eye and tell them to go to hell.

And, much as it pains me to say so, we need SOMEBODY to tell a few people to go to hell. So people in the hardest hit parts of the NNGRFTWEFU’s Agenda like poor poor Ireland and New Zealand and Canada… well… if you feel the need to tell someone to go to hell then Mauritius is the place to go because I’m sure they wouldn’t much care.

We’ll need loud speakers and bull-horns.

Also, Mauritius was the only and last known home of the Dodo bird. If we’re gonna go extinct for whatever reason, we might as well make it a place with some sentimental historical value. Next we may be discussing the leader of the once-free world. It might not be pretty.