In the Year 2024, if Man is Still Alive

Sylvia Shawcross

Now, I was reading something about how anybody who questions things as they are is labelled crazy, aka a conspiracy theorist, and the writer likened that craziness to a ragged human sitting on the street corner with a sign saying, “The End is Nigh!” And I thought, but that’s not the definition of crazy abnormal now. Crazy is now anybody on the street corner saying, “The End is Not Nigh!” Now, that would be considered crazy in the world right now.

Those who are religious in some sense are waiting for the Second Coming or whatever end-of-time thing their religion believes because all the signs are there. Those who are fanatically green are waiting for the world to implode from carbon emissions and climate change because all the signs are there. Those who are financially absorbed are waiting for the end of money as we know it and, therefore, the whole purpose of living. Those who suspect that viruses and/or their antidotes are killing us all off are locked in their masks and misery. Those who think an asteroid is coming or nuclear war or AI human genocide or aliens engaging in human bloodbaths… well, there are all sorts of variations on the theme.

They’re all (and I’d hazard the guess that this is most of humanity) sitting in their little boxes of righteousness, waiting for the end with their ultimate “I told you so.” Being fatalistically resigned to human annihilation might not be a healthy way to be. It’s kind of like the tree in the forest kind of thing: what good does it do you to be able to say “I told you so” when, in fact, your audience isn’t there, and apparently, neither are you?

I mean, in theory, eradicating any future is kind of, well, not very positive in that positive-thinking kind of way we’re all supposed to embrace in this ridiculous world. I mean, people wandered around whipping themselves about the end of existence with the Black Death, e.g. and where did that get them? Sure, it was an awful time, but in the end, they either died or they didn’t. And the ones that didn’t were just left all black and blue with egg on their face because they still had to get up every day and do that thing called living because they weren’t dead after all. Much to their annoyance, I’m sure. It wasn’t exactly what they had planned.

I’m not sure that planning on never having a future to plan for is perhaps a good plan as far as plans go. I mean, really….

And so it is that I’m suggesting, and who am I to suggest anything I know, I’m simply suggesting that we stop all that apocalyptic nonsense for the New Year. In 2024, we will have to simply accept that the world is going to go on as it always has, and we can’t escape into fatalistic resignation anymore. And we can all certainly stop feeling so pathologically smug about our brand of certainty about how it will all end.

What’s the bloody point of that anyway? How can you possibly be secretly gleeful about the end of humanity? Mind you there are days (and don’t lie because I know you’ve been there), when you simply think, well, perhaps it is for the best that we all just end up not being here. This usually happens when you watch the news or are standing in an election booth trying to decide between psychopaths to elect or have to phone a government department to clear up something or when you contemplate the notion of eating crickets for Christmas dinner for the rest of your born days or you’ve just watched the latest episode on TLC about someone who ate an entire foam mattress because they felt they just had to.

You gotta wonder at those times, but of course, you have to snap yourself out of that. It’s not e.g. like eating crickets is as bad as having to roast your neighbour on the barbecue or anything. We can manage.

And manage is what we have to do, I’m afraid. It is what humans have always done. We might as well accept this.

We will simply have to friggin figure it all out.

Again.

Hopefully, we can do it without all that Weimar Republic-like Fall-of-the-Roman-Empire existential angst manifesting as cultural enlightenment. It wasn’t enlightenment. I mean, it just wasn’t. It was just out-of-control hedonistic madness. We tend to do that now and then. And that just results in self-satisfied totalitarianism on the part of the psychos in charge until the mooing herds revolt. As they are wont to do now and then. Historically. If history matters anymore.

So… Let us assume that we’ll all have to get through the future best we can. And resigning ourselves to no future is not helpful. So do something that shapes the future for the better. And you can start by stopping the divisive hate and promoting peace. How about that?

Not an easy task indeed. Simple acts of kindness one to another might be a good start. It is important for you to remember when you’re going about your end of days that you can’t know which brand of apocalyptic thinking the person you may be meeting might have and so, rather than judging, lecturing, fighting or prodding, how about you just be kind?

And of course, with that in mind, in might be a good idea to actually see the person next to you. I know it is a popular nihilistic pastime now to live in your own bubble on a cellphone, but actually being open and present in the world is a good thing to aim for. It might be worth it. Well, it’s better than self-flagellation, apparently.

May your 2024 be enriched with reality and hope. And courage. Don’t forget that one.

Also, we already know that in that song “In the Year 2525 if Man is still alive” should read “In the Year 2525 Man is no longer still alive” because he’s been gendered out of existence. So stop singing that earworm! For heavens sakes. Or you could change it to “if Humanity is still alive” but that’s still not exactly gender neutral which reminds me of everybody and their pronouns now introducing themselves as a sexual preference before you even know them. I don’t much care who you want to sleep with. Really. Most don’t. So stop that!

Oh… neverthehellmind! Nobody ever listens to me. Nor should they necessarily. Be kind. The End.

Not an earworm: