27

abu-Jaʽfar Mohammed ibn-Mūsa al-Khuwārizmi

Sylvia Shawcross

It was late in the game when I realized I’d forgotten to look at the latest meteor shower. It is something I always like to do to remind myself of how small and insignificant we humans are in the scheme of things… or maybe that’s just me…

Anyway, out I went to see the stars and the flashes of light startling the sky, except it was cloudy and snowing a bit with a wind. But under the street light the swift flash of flakes could almost have been meteors, if you imagined hard enough.

And as I stood there watching the universe of my imagination I started thinking about algorithms.

Oh, I know that was completely out of context and stuff when I should have been thinking perspicaciously but that is somehow how my brain decides to work when I least expect it. I had been watching older coverage of the Gods of Mount Davos and the green agenda just to further enrage my sensibilities for the day and I’m not sure how my brain decided to do this flip.

I suppose I was thinking about what we know and don’t know and how as you get older sometimes what you know isn’t really something you know because you’ve actually forgotten the details—Algorithms e.g.

Somewhere in the vast reach of my history going back I am absolutely certain that someone or some book taught me the exact definition of what an algorithm was and so it was I have wandered all through my life so far knowing that I know what an algorithm is. But not being an engineer or a computer person or a mathematician I rarely had a reason to use the word algorithm in any grand capacity. But I knew that I knew what it was.

Then the day came when people start saying routinely, “oh, it’s the algorithm!” and you think “oh yes of course it is the algorithm!” The algorithm has been blamed for every single thing wrong in the world these days certainly on the internet. And the chorus of blame keeps ratcheting up.

We have no freedom of speech now because of the algorithm. We have endless repetitive advertisements because of the algorithms. We are the victims of propaganda because of the algorithms. We are going to end up in an Orwellian hellworld totalitarian nightmare because of the algorithms.

We are at the ultimate mercy not of God or Science but the Almighty Algorithm.

And then, standing there near the streetlight late at night staring morosely up into the wet wind you realize you don’t really know what an Algorithm is and you have no idea how you ended up thinking about algorithms.

So I looked it up.

The word was formed from algorism “the system of Arabic numerals,” a word that goes back to Middle English and ultimately stems from the name of a 9th-century Persian mathematician, abu-Jaʽfar Mohammed ibn-Mūsa al-Khuwārizmi. It means a procedure for solving a mathematical problem in a finite number of steps that frequently involves repetition of an operation.

This gave me the “ahah!” It has solved a big question I have always had—one of those mysteries solved that I can finally put away with great satisfaction to forget until I remember that I’ve forgotten which won’t happen until I’m very old and it won’t matter at that point because I’ll probably be toothlessly eating gruel and watching reruns of M.A.S.H. with the other inmates and thinking about where I put my slippers by then which is how life ultimately happens. But I digress.

Up there in the mountains where the Gods of Mount Davos frolicked with their colleagues and their $4,400 a night prostitutes Mr. Green Agenda himself was likely wandering the streets all old and hunched and ready to retire. Accosted by reporters he would likely, as with them all, had nothing to say. Nor would he proclaim his intention to retire which is the rumour. The quintessential face of the green movement and planet alarmism has been telling us for decades we’re all going to die unless we give up everything we enjoy (and mostly have worked for) or at least transfer it over to spouses so we can’t be blamed when it all does happen.

Mr. Greenpants is one of the lesser Gods of Mount Davos, but still a God. One’s status as lesser or greater is simply determined by how much money you have as we know. The question I always had about Mr. Gore is why didn’t he change his name? Who on earth wants go about life with a moniker that reminds them of slasher movies from the seventies or “gory” blood-splattered war games and stuff? And why “Al”? Why not Alan or Alphonse? What were his parents even thinking! Carrying on the family name is one thing but to send a child out into the world all ready to be psychologically scarred, I mean… Really!

But now we know don’t we? Al Gore is an algorithm. The Al-Gore-ithm. All of this nonsense about “abu-Jaʽfar Mohammed ibn-Mūsa al-Khuwārizmi” is ancient history. The Almighty Algorithm has been redefined. Al Gore is an algorithm and his name foreshadowed our demise. We are now all at the mercy of Al Gore, even with his lesser God status. That’s why the word is so popular now.

Obviously Al Gore is simply one in a series of finite mathematical steps repeating himself. He is a repetitive tool for dismantling the world to save the world. He is not even real is he? He is an idea invented for a problem. Maybe he didn’t even have parents? Maybe he is the first version of robotic artificial intelligence? It “could” happen. I’m just saying. We should have figured it out then. Idiots we are.

But never mind all that. The WEF has decided to install trust in the mooing herds for them by using algorithms no doubt and the mooing herds are getting confused. We were used to trusting God, then “the Science” and now it’s the WEF but now what about Al Gore? For heavens sakes! Make up your minds! We haven’t got all day and the end is nigh as they say. Whoever they are. None of us care anymore. We hate them all. Go away.

Here’s a song for the day:

Here’s a quote:

“So I call the force that we’re up against Goliath. Just so I remember what the battle is. Goliath made a terrible mistake and made it most egregiously during COVID, which is: it took all of the competent people. Took all of the courageous people, and it shoved them out of the institutions where they were hanging on. And it created in so doing The Dream Team. Created every player you could possibly want on your team to fight some historic battle against a terrible evil. All of those people are now at least somewhat awake. They’ve now been picked on by the same enemy. And yeah, all right, we’re outgunned. It has a tremendous amount of power. But but we’ve got all of the people who know how to think. So. I hate to say it, or maybe I like to say it, but. I don’t think it’s a slam dunk, but I like our odds.”
B. Weinstein

Visit my Substack if you are so inclined.

SUPPORT OFFGUARDIAN

If you enjoy OffG's content, please help us make our monthly fund-raising goal and keep the site alive.

For other ways to donate, including direct-transfer bank details click HERE.

Subscribe
Notify of
guest

27 Comments
newest
oldest most voted
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
krzltf
krzltf
Jan 29, 2024 10:11 PM

Al Gore -ism is so hilarious!

And also so enlightening to learn the actual origin of the term Algorism.

Thanks, Syl, for making my day.

John Fred Doores
John Fred Doores
Jan 29, 2024 3:25 PM

I love your columns, Sylvia, but be aware of who Bret Weinstein really is…

https://x.com/cjhopkins_z23/status/1750955323811143739?s=12

Tim Glass
Tim Glass
Jan 27, 2024 7:31 PM

The Abacus and the Cross is a great book for further reading. Basically, the church at the turn of the millennium needed to figure out the precise date of Easter. Since this is no easy process, and requires knowledge of the precession of Earth, aspects of the moon, etc…a deeper system of mathematics was needed. Consequently, Pope Sylvester II befriended Arabic scholars in Spanish Cordoba, and ever since, the West has used Arabic Numerals.

Matt Black
Matt Black
Jan 27, 2024 9:21 AM
Johnny
Johnny
Jan 27, 2024 8:51 AM

“A semi permanent state of flatulence”

Now THAT is funny.

Reminds me of the men’s dunnies (toilets for you non Aussies) at a football match.

WorkingClassHero
WorkingClassHero
Jan 27, 2024 7:54 AM

The “Algorithm” which is sold to us as some kind of self thinking genius computer program (Like HAL in Space Odyssey) is nothing of the sort. Computers rely on programmers to tell them what to do and predict based on inputs. So if one wants a computer to give them a certain outcome, one simply has to program it to do so. So it if one wants to find out who all the twats and sellouts are in the UK, Australia, Canada, NZ and USA. You program the computer what to say when you ask… Computers are good at crunching numbers quick, but this still only gives one limited information. They are not for predicting fake viruses, future death rates and the next x rated fake pandemics. Here is an idea. Once a week everyone leave their phone at home and switch it off. A phone free day. Do this… Read more »

ariel
ariel
Jan 28, 2024 6:21 PM

I’ve been doing it for about 15 years.

STJOHNOFGRAFTON
STJOHNOFGRAFTON
Jan 26, 2024 11:52 PM

This gave me the “ahah!”

Don’t you mean the Alah?
I’m off to the alahu snakbar for a packet of Lucky Strike algorithms. They’re toasted!

Sylvia Shawcross
Sylvia Shawcross
Jan 27, 2024 1:56 PM

haha

ariel
ariel
Jan 26, 2024 10:25 PM

Geckos can sing, as well. When I lived in Andalusia I would drop off to sleep listening to them. They sound a bit like gurgling, singing chickens. I missed their presence when we came back to Britain Maybe many other unexpected creatures can sing, too. We know about cetaceans. Maybe we just don’t know how to listen properly. I

ariel
ariel
Jan 26, 2024 10:26 PM
Reply to  ariel

Frogs.

David
David
Jan 26, 2024 3:53 PM

CJ Hopkins is innocent. A victory for all.

WorkingClassHero
WorkingClassHero
Jan 27, 2024 8:25 AM
Reply to  David

Personally I don’t know the guy, never met him. Have you? I presume you have since you are vouching for him.

Sylvia Shawcross
Sylvia Shawcross
Jan 27, 2024 1:55 PM
Reply to  David

YAY!!!!!!

Matt
Matt
Jan 26, 2024 3:09 PM

Good Question – Brilliant!
Al-Gore-ithm – Hilarious, laughed aloud.
Thanks again!

Sylvia Shawcross
Sylvia Shawcross
Jan 27, 2024 1:55 PM
Reply to  Matt

You are very kind, TY Matt

Jin_Tonic
Jin_Tonic
Jan 26, 2024 3:05 PM

Off g fravourite cartoonist BOB has caused a uproar…

comment image

Antonym
Antonym
Jan 27, 2024 2:22 AM
Reply to  Jin_Tonic

Halal would more sense

WorkingClassHero
WorkingClassHero
Jan 27, 2024 7:59 AM
Reply to  Jin_Tonic

This image is not correct. We all know from 9/11 that buildings collapse in their own footprint in a pile of rubble when they catch fire or get hit by explosives.

Straight Talk
Straight Talk
Jan 26, 2024 1:27 PM

PHONY COVID DISSIDENTS – BEWARE THE DREAM TEAM NARRATIVE POLICE
“As the WEF and WHO drum up fear of “Disease X” there is a new set of narrative gatekeepers assembling a phony Dream Team of ‘covid dissidents.’ The trouble is most of them supported all the mandates!”

Erik Nielsen
Erik Nielsen
Jan 26, 2024 3:06 PM
Reply to  Straight Talk

Yes, we should remember the whole Hollywood industry is build on dissidents, the outnumbered, the lonely cowboy, or Stallone St.allone cleaning up the bad guys.

The non-vaxxers as the new heroes.
The small group woke up from Matrix fighting the machine, just to find out they were just another control program.
It looks more and more of a dull theater with less and less humans involved.

Antonym
Antonym
Jan 26, 2024 1:01 PM

Al cohol was not the product of al Chemy but another product of the Cab al.

Sylvia Shawcross
Sylvia Shawcross
Jan 27, 2024 1:54 PM
Reply to  Antonym

hahaha… clever 🙂

Johnny
Johnny
Jan 26, 2024 12:10 PM

Wrote a song about algorithms Syl, but it’s getting a tad late here in Eastern Australia.
I’ll find the lyrics tomorrow morning and post it here.
Just for you🙂

Johnny
Johnny
Jan 26, 2024 9:50 PM
Reply to  Johnny

As promised Sylvia: ALGORITHMS (2017) Algorithms gonna steal our beat Got us all worked out from our heads to our feet Yeah those algorithms have sized us up Every part of us is up for grabs What we wear, what we eat, the good and the bad Yeah those algorithms gonna suck our blood (Chorus) There’s an algorithm with your name on it Take it as a given, they know your shit There’s an algorithm behind every click They’re all greed driven by psychopathics Those Corparasites they want it all They want us at their beck and call Yeah those Corparasites have got us fucked Those algorithms are like deep gold mines Diggin 24/7 searching for signs Yeah those algorithms got us by the nuts (Chorus here) Those algorithms gonna steal our beat Got us all worked out from our heads to our feet Yeah those algorithms gonna size us… Read more »

Sylvia Shawcross
Sylvia Shawcross
Jan 27, 2024 1:54 PM
Reply to  Johnny

Well thats the ultimate word on Algorithms there Johnny. Most excellent! 🙂 TY

Paul Prichard
Paul Prichard
Jan 26, 2024 11:50 AM

Your alternative update on #COVID19 for 2024-01-24. Judge Orders CDC Release Data 7.8m CV jab AEs. Also, 109 myocarditis cases after CV vs 530 after CV jab (blog, gab, tweet, pic1, pic2, pic3, pic4).