Consequences

Many people seem to think these days they can do anything they want with no negative consequences—that doing whatever they want is their right, and if they get negative consequences someone other than them will pay.

I have the “right” to walk out in front of a bus, but there will be negative consequences if I do, so I don’t exercise that right. People used to understand this concept fairly well back in the day. I think many of us have sort of lost this ability—to be aware of negative consequences and adjust our behaviour accordingly.

Strangely enough, this goes the other way as well.

Some of us seem to apply negative consequences irrationally based on some sort of criteria that is difficult to ascertain. An example of this inverse “consequence awareness” is being insanely fearful of a “virus” before there is really any real evidence for its existence. Or wearing a mask for little reason other than being terrified of the negative consequences authority has told us will ensue if we don’t wear one.

It is as if whatever system within us that regulates “awareness of consequences” has gone haywire and flips from one extreme to the other at will.

We certainly could reduce the reason for either one of these phenomena to a lack of common sense and critical thinking. These two lacks seem to be responsible for quite a bit we find whacky going on in the world.

Let’s go back to this idea of having “the right” to do stupid stuff, but being unaware of the resulting consequences. We see this everywhere, and part of it stems from teaching young people, starting probably about a generation ago, that they will always be winners no matter what they do, and that the world “owes” them no matter what they do. So, if they tell their boss to f-off and get fired, that is their right to express whatever they want to express, and as such, they should be allowed to do it with no consequences.

The expectation of receiving no negative consequences is the part they have been taught. These kids/young adults were probably never disciplined at home or school. In any contest they participated, they were given a trophy regardless of how poorly they performed. “Everyone is a winner,” as they say. As a result, they have no awareness that if you do “x, y, z” you get whatever you deserve—good or bad.

This is part of it, but I don’t think is all of it. I think we may see this more often with young people and young adults and not so much with older adults. After you have been in the world a while, you tend to get your own teaching through your experiences. You lose jobs, lose relationships, lose friends, and probably a lot of other things by exercising your “rights” with no concern for manners or social graces and get burned again and again for it. Eventually, these people figure it out. And if they don’t, they go to therapy, or drink, or worse.

As a psychotherapist, I deal with these sorts of seriously embedded “systems of functioning” all of the time. We call them “complexes” and they are generally installed very early in life as a sort of “operating system” (or systems) originally intended to keep a person out of trouble—but in fact, generally keeps them in trouble. The primary purpose behind this type of complex is safety, which is achieved by controlling the immediate environment.

Since these are typically “child systems,” how control is achieved is not always appropriate or successful. In fact, it is seldom appropriate or successful—certainly not when the child grows up. But that doesn’t stop the person from using the system, and generally, it is brought into action unconsciously, having been triggered by some external event.

Complexes can be responsible for a lot of behaviour without a clear awareness of consequences, but most of what we are seeing today is more likely due to a lack of common sense and critical thinking. And, we can reasonably say, that the lack of common sense and critical thinking is due to the same reasons we have applied in other situations.

Most of what I have been talking about thus far are little minor things people are apt to do without being aware of the consequences of their behaviour. What about the bigger things? For example, if you are a 15-year-old boy and wake up one day feeling compelled to identify as a woman. More than likely you felt pressure from your peers to believe in this new and exciting group of young people who make this radical shift. Maybe things are not going well for you at home, or in school, and it just seems that being a girl would make it all better. Maybe there is indeed some internal confusion about your identity. So, you decide you are going to do what you need to do to become a girl. Has this young man thought about the consequences? More than likely not, for a variety of reasons.

One big reason is that he probably has never developed the ability and skill to think for himself. His critical analysis of various situations is probably lacking. Also, he is only 15 years old. There are lots of parts of his personality and psyche that have not yet matured. He is not psychologically ready to make such decisions. And the most nefarious reason of all—his school and other adult figures in his life are very likely encouraging him to make these moves that could very well end in a consequence that is tragic beyond words.

Young people have always been known for trying to make rash decisions about major things without much “thinking it out.” Obviously, this has always been an issue. But in these specific examples, it seems the adults are often the ones who push the situation.

Where is their critical thinking and common sense? There does not seem to be much of that left in the world today.

Being acutely aware of the way the world works is essential to a fulfilling and satisfying life. Understanding “cause and effect” and making decisions with some awareness of what will transpire as a result of that decision is obviously quite important.

My observation here is that humans, largely (not all, of course!), have lost the ability to see likely consequences in their behaviour. This seems to be apparent for big and little things—of course, the bigger the decision, the more negative the resulting consequences could be.

Todd Hayen PhD is a registered psychotherapist practicing in Toronto, Ontario, Canada. He holds a PhD in depth psychotherapy and an MA in Consciousness Studies. He specializes in Jungian, archetypal, psychology. Todd also writes for his own substack, which you can read here

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