Jul 21, 2026

Let’s talk about…Andy Burnham, the UK’s Newest Puppet-in-Chief

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As of yesterday morning, the United Kingdom has a new Prime Minister, and his name is Andy Burnham.

In a startlingly low-Democracy effort, even by modern standards, a sitting MP resigned his safe seat so Andy Burnham could “contest” a by-election with the express purpose of ousting Sir Keir Starmer as Labour leader.

Less than 30,000 votes – that’s the Burnham democratic mandate.

And ever since that transition became inevitable, the PR machine has been working overtime to sell us the kind of “simple, decent” image.

We’ve been told how he likes his tea (milk first), that he’s not going to wear a tie outside Parliament, and witnessed his (totally not staged) little one-on-ones with the public.

For his first speech outside Number 10, he waved the lectern away, and just had a good old chinwag…

I don’t use a lectern either! OMG he’s just like me! https://t.co/VouMeEcHIE

— OffGuardian (@OffGuardian0) July 20, 2026

It’s all a very David Brentish, “Just call me Andy” vibe. Like a substitute teacher who sits backwards on his chair and uses the word “jam”.

The “I’m so nice” PR extended into policy already. Having left poor, boring Keir to finish off the bad news last week, good old Andy has jumped at the chance to end VAT on energy bills, and “scrap” digital ID.

His cabinet is, naturally, the same old faces in different jobs. Wes Streeting has been paid off for refusing to contest a leadership election he would have lost with the Defence Secretary job. Ed Miliband moves from Energy to Foreign Secretary. Yvette Cooper is still around somewhere.

As we’re fond of saying, the British Cabinet has ever been a game of musical chairs where nobody ever takes a chair away.

Burnham’s spouting Corbyn-lite “new politics”, but it will be meaningless in the end. A puppet who doesn’t wear a tie is very much still a puppet.

But maybe you disagree.