Hancock’s Half-Hour
Stephen McMurray
A brand new TV show has just been announced called Hancock’s Half-Hour. Over the course of 30 minutes the main character, Hapless Hancock, playing the part of the Health Secretary, will highlight all the government’s absurd policies and fake facts and figures surrounding the covid situation.
Some of the highlights of the show have already been leaked. One of the stories featured will be that of the Seagull on Brighton beach who is believed to be covid positive. In an interview, a public health official claims that the seagull definitely has covid as a local resident called Bob witnessed the bird regurgitating some chips it had stolen from a couple of pensioners sitting on a bench. This combined with the fact that another witness said it had beady eyes was enough to convince the authorities of its covid positive status.
As a result of this spike in cases, Brighton beach has been sealed off, The Golden Cod chip shop where the pensioners purchased the chips has been demolished, the bench on which they sat has been removed and the surrounding area has been carpet-bombed.
The pensioners themselves have been placed in quarantine for six months and anybody returning from Brighton in the last few days have been told to put a cardboard box over their head whilst self-isolating for fourteen days.
As a precautionary measure all purchases of potato products in and around the South coast region have been banned with a prison term of three months and confiscation of their deep fat fryer for anyone that defies the new law. The head of the local police force was quoted as saying, “We will enforce the law with the utmost vigour. People have got to realise that cooking or consuming chips at this time could kill someone.”
The seagull at the centre of the storm was not captured but authorities did manage to fit it with a track and trace ankle bracelet before it escaped. It is hoped that all the birds it comes into contact with will be able to be traced and locked into special nightingale aviaries that have been specifically set up for this purpose. Hapless Hancock was quick to point out that although the new facilities are called nightingale aviaries all species of birds can be accommodated.
As a result of this terrifying event, all local bird owners are now required to ensure their pets have beak coverings when they cannot social distance from other birds. Canaries, cockatoos, parrots and budgies are all subject to the new law but mynah birds are exempt as it was thought that putting a mask over their beak and preventing them from speaking for any period of time would cause them too much anxiety.
In the first show it is also believed Hapless Hancock will announce new, stricter measures to prevent the spread of corona virus. According to the latest science, the virus can now make its way into a person’s system via the skin, hair and ears and so it will become mandatory to wear full body coverings when indoors. Recommended coverings are hazmat suits, suits of armour, circa 16th Century or a beekeeper’s outfit purchased from a reputable supplier. In the event that you do not own any of these, a home-made body covering will suffice and can be made out of any household material including old rags, toilet rolls or bits of coal. To help with designing your own body covering, a new billion-pound website has been set up by the Department of Health and Social Care.
As well as full body coverings the latest expert advice is that a kipper placed strategically in one’s underwear should help prevent the spread of the virus. A study carried out by Poppycock University in Cambridge has shown that the viral load of the virus is inversely proportional to the size of fish used but it is only true for kippers. Other piscine species have been used but without success. Members of the public visiting their local fishmongers will be reminded to stay at least 10 salmon lengths apart at all times.
As new cases and fatalities are falling every day it is thought that the corona virus has mutated to become craftier due to a hitherto unknown gene called the sneaky gene. It is now believed by experts to have changed its modus operandi and is causing a completely different set of symptoms. These new list of symptoms will be revealed on the show but are known to include, ‘looking slightly bewildered, walking with an odd gait, looking at other people in a funny manner and talking with a strange accent.’
The police are due to organise a press conference in the next few days where they will be encouraging the public to report anybody showing any of these signs to the authorities, emphasising it is now everyone’s public duty to spy on their neighbours and be wary of anyone new in the area, particularly if they have a limp and sound a little bit foreign.
As an incentive, a new scheme is to be introduced called, ‘Squeal for a meal,’ whereby any member of the public that grasses on another for acting oddly will get a voucher for a free meal at any local restaurant.
The programme will also feature the new virus behaviour modelling expert, Madame Zaza, who will predict the course of the virus by various methods including reading tea leaves whilst blindfolded, counting how many natterjack toads will gather on the trunk of a fallen oak tree before sunset, recording how long it takes a piece of cheese to go mouldy in an enclosed environment and seeing how many boiled sweets she can suck in an hour whilst wearing a Mickey Mouse mask. Madame Zaza’s essential work will be sponsored by Mint Imperial college, London.
The latest science says these are the most accurate ways of predicting the behaviour of the virus as opposed to the previous method of thinking of a number, subtracting it from the average height of a giant sequoia tree, multiplying it by the distance between the moon and the earth at the time of a lunar eclipse and then adding a squillion to get the final figure.
This, of course, was the method employed by Fiddler Ferguson, the professor guilty of fiddling with the figures whilst he fiddled with his mistress.
The programme will also cater for the musically minded as it will feature BoJo the clown, doing a cover version of the Fun Boy Three’s hit, The Lunatics Have Taken Over the Asylum, on a dither. (A dither is another form of the zither but is used solely by those who haven’t got a clue what they are doing). Accompanying him will be the Health Secretary and the Chief Medical Officer. It is thought The Glum Boy Three will have a regular slot on the programme.
Despite all the measures that will be highlighted in the show, a leaked document from the cabinet office has predicted that the only way to truly eradicate the virus is by culling the entire population so that it has no more potential hosts. To this end, another scheme is being advised where you can commit suicide to avoid catching covid. It will be called, ‘Check Out to Help Out.’
It is envisaged that there will be a large uptake as many members of the public desperately want to stay covid safe. However, if demand does not meet the required level, the scheme will become mandatory. Those unwilling to comply will be effectively water-boarded into submission by being forced to wear a dirty, homemade facemask during a heavy rainstorm.
Happy viewing.
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One of the most cruel things done to humanity in these last few months, is to make people fearful, sad and serious, by the manufactured disaster surrounding them.
The global elites criminally mishandled Covid pandemic, with their totally absurd policies, and manufactured fake facts and figures.
This has been done, because without making people fearful, sad and serious, it is impossible to make them a slave.
A slave in all the dimensions of slavery.
Spiritually a slave, out of fear to some fictitious God, to some fictitious heaven and hell.
Psychologically a slave, because fear, sadness and seriousness are not natural, they have to be forced upon the mind and the mind falls into fragments, is shattered.
And physically a slave also, because an enslaved person who cannot laugh, cannot be really healthy and whole.
Laughter is not one-dimensional, it has all the three dimensions of an individuals being.
When you laugh your body joins it, your mind joins it, your being joins it.
In laughter the distinctions disappear, the divisions disappear, the schizophrenic personality disappears.
Laughter is against those who want to exploit humanity, the oligarchs, the priests, the cunning politicians.
Their whole effort has been to somehow make humanity weaker, make them psychologically sick as well as miserable so they will never revolt.
Taking people’s laughter away from them is taking their very life away.
Taking laughter away from people is spiritual castration.
Seriousness is simply a sickness of the soul, because only sick souls can be converted into slaves.
The vested interests need a humanity which is not rebellious, which is very willing, almost begging, to be slaves.
Because of their anti-life attitude, they have nearly destroyed the whole of humanity.
They have taken away all that is juicy, all that is life affirmative in people.
The day people forget to laugh, the day people forget to be playful, the day people forget to dance, they will be no more fully human.
They will have fallen into a sub-human species.
But laughter brings your energy back to you.
Every fiber of your being becomes alive, and every cell of your being starts dancing.
If you can laugh without any reason, you will get to see something repressed within you.
From your very childhood you have been told not to laugh – “Be serious!”
You have to come out of that repressive conditioning.
People have to start laughing again now just to feel alive!
Politicians with all their fascist Covid-19 enslavement behavior and rules have made life so miserable.
For many people now life has become just paranoia, fear, sadness, worry, and frustration.
The normal person is burdened with only negative feelings.
They need something positive to live again, and they need a way to get rid of their negative feelings.
Laughter is the greatest medicine, it does both jobs.
It helps you to not be unburdened of extra energy, but only to be unburdened of negative energy: your anger, your fear, your sadness, your frustration.
All people throughout the world have now become so fearful and serious because of the ‘new normal’ the criminal politicians have forced on them.
If the people could start laughing again, rather than just projecting their fears, their beliefs, their madness on everyone else, then they would just stop arguing and fighting about things which really do not matter at all.
The politicians have made it difficult to laugh.
Everyone should unite through laughter, and re-direct their energy towards removing all of these criminal politicians, and all of the ruling elites from power, removing all those who have caused this terrible globally suffering.
Laughter and a sense of humor has not been recognized by any global fascist authority for its therapeutic quality.
I declare it to be the highest therapeutic quality.
If we can decide that every day, for one hour, at a certain agreed time, the whole world will laugh.
It will help to dispel darkness, fear, violence and stupidities.
Laughter has a beauty, it is multidimensional.
It can relax you, it can suddenly make you feel light, it can make your world not a burden, but a beautiful experience.
It can change everything in your life.
Just the touch of laughter can make life something worth living, something to be grateful for.
If people could laugh totally every day for at least one hour, with friends, family, lovers, strangers, on the streets, in offices, at home, without any reason, they would not need any other meditation.
That would be enough, because while you are laughing you cannot think.
While you are laughing you cannot be in the past, you cannot be in the future.
You have to be here now.
Laughter can open a door to the ultimate.
When you laugh, you are totally in it.
The vested interests, whether of money, or of organized religions, or of the rulers, all are agreed on one thing and that is that humanity has to be weakened, controlled, made miserable, made afraid, has to be forced to live in a kind of paranoia.
Only then will people go down on their knees before their counterfeit authority.
Only then will they be ready to serve anybody who is powerful and in charge.
Let us all really start laughing now, a total laughter which is not phony, not a pretension, not just a performance, nor influenced by any organized ideology or groups, but is a full global belly laughter.
One hour a day, everyday, infect the whole world with viral existential laughing.
It will not only be therapeutic and beneficial to your own well-being, it will be an act of total yet peaceful rebellion.
Let us make this movement happen, now!
https://whenwardisappears.wordpress.com/
Is this the same seagull that was chased half a mile out to sea by a plucky dog, who had to be rescued by the brave emergency service workers?
Good to use humour to attract peoples attention – but never lose sight of the fact that whoever is behind this is anything but stupid.
Dr Vernon Coleman MB ChB DSc FRSA
(No. 9 on his list) Exactly the same mistakes have been made in almost every country in the world. For example, sick old people were taken out of hospital and dumped in care homes – resulting in tens of thousands of deaths in each country. That couldn’t be a coincidence – so it had to be a plan.
https://vernoncoleman.com/leaflettoprint.htm
and…….
Event 201 was a 3.5-hour pandemic tabletop exercise Oct 18th 2019 https://www.centerforhealthsecurity.org/event201/about
‘Event 201 was a 3.5-hour pandemic tabletop exercise that simulated a series of dramatic, scenario-based facilitated discussions, confronting difficult, true-to-life dilemmas associated with response to a hypothetical, but scientifically plausible, pandemic.’
And….
Dovetailing nicely into ‘ The Great Reset ‘
Hyperlink removed so not to contravene this sites rules but is easy to find on the net
” There is an urgent need for global stakeholders to cooperate in simultaneously managing the direct consequences of the COVID-19 crisis. To improve the state of the world, the World Economic Forum is starting The Great Reset initiative.”
Sorry if this has been said elsewhere on here but maybe it needs to be repeated for those who were unaware.
It needs repeating regularly, an apology is unneeded
Good to use humour to attract peoples attention – but never lose sight of the fact that whoever is behind this is anything but stupid.
Dr Vernon Coleman MB ChB DSc FRSA
(No. 9 on his list) Exactly the same mistakes have been made in almost every country in the world. For example, sick old people were taken out of hospital and dumped in care homes – resulting in tens of thousands of deaths in each country. That couldn’t be a coincidence – so it had to be a plan.
https://vernoncoleman.com/leaflettoprint.htm
and…….
Event 201 was a 3.5-hour pandemic tabletop exercise Oct 18th 2019 https://www.centerforhealthsecurity.org/event201/about
‘Event 201 was a 3.5-hour pandemic tabletop exercise that simulated a series of dramatic, scenario-based facilitated discussions, confronting difficult, true-to-life dilemmas associated with response to a hypothetical, but scientifically plausible, pandemic.’
and….
Dovetailing nicely into ‘ The Great Reset ‘
https://www.weforum.org/great-reset
” There is an urgent need for global stakeholders to cooperate in simultaneously managing the direct consequences of the COVID-19 crisis. To improve the state of the world, the World Economic Forum is starting The Great Reset initiative.”
Sorry if this has been said elsewhere on here but maybe it needs to be repeated for those who are unaware.
I am afraid this has brought out the pedant in me.
If only. The birds were merely advised to go back and self-isolate in their nests in order to preserve the nightingale wards for the nightingales, who were not affected.
This is a total misrepresentation of the eugenics agenda, the purpose is to get rid of the week and feeble and let the healthy rich inherit the earth, you really don’t want to get rid of THEM. Whose side are you on man?
“a home-made body covering will suffice and can be made out of any household material including old rags, toilet rolls or bits of coal.”
Will tin foil work 😉
Yes Ewan, I had just finished experimenting with tin foil…..Aldi’s is the best tin foil to use..them Germans are sure clever.
When critically-minded humor is needed, why not take a look at the famous Michael Leunig
Sorry, couldn’t resist it!…
…- “Pelosi flouts lockdown restrictions”:…
https://www.facebook.com/topdogzgrooming/videos/nancy-gets-a-blow-dry/2298495797057797/?_fb_noscript=1
To quote Withnail and I “We are indeed drifting into the arena of the unwell. Making enemies of our own futures.”
Made this during the 2019 election.
Well, at least we can get a laugh at them.
Just came across this on YouTube – great update of an ’80s classic:
Thanks for that! I needed a laugh. Mind you, today’s laugh could be tomorrow’s reality…
a leaked document from the cabinet office has predicted that the only way to truly eradicate the virus is by culling the entire population so that it has no more potential hosts. To this end, another scheme is being advised where you can commit suicide to avoid catching covid. It will be called, ‘Check Out to Help Out.’
Brilliant. I’m nicking that!
I think ‘Children of men’ got there first
Good one!
A clove of garlic around the neck works well. At least it keeps you safe and socially distancing.
They told you I’m crazy.
It’s funny because it’s true!
Indeed Ort, you couldn’t make it up
Genius! Has to be the funniest thing I have read this week.
“One of the stories featured will be that of the Seagull on Brighton beach who is believed to be covid positive.”
Would that be this seagull? Last seen in the vicinity of Dover flaunting the mask regulations.
This young fellow can be excused somewhat since the mask keeps slipping off his ears. Round here we have a similar problem of masks slipping off the youngsters because these discarded health hazards are everywhere. At one time it was used condoms!
Well, at least he’s trying to mask up, John. Give the poor lad a beak!
(PS: For those on here who have had a humorectomy – that was a joke. I hate masks.)
These discarded masks have certainly taken the place of used condoms. I’m sure social distancing must be keeping lovers apart. Even Pinocchio, a bit of a braggart, couldn’t boast 2 metres though his nose grew very long.
Long before the new norm, back in Chekhov’s day, it was workmen who interrupted Treplev and Nina’s intimacy. I won’t spoil the plot but the seagull got shot, and stuffed. Bloody Hell, it’s supposed to be a comedy!
I kid you not John:
https://www.reuters.com/article/us-health-coronavirus-canada-sex/wear-a-mask-while-having-sex-canadas-top-doctor-suggests-idUSKBN25T2Y9
You can’t believe the above. Any creature taking her advice is seagullible!
What observant, courageous, right on rebels those teachers are! Next they’ll be calling Xi Jinping a murdering communist whose Wuhan scientists caused all this.
Or ‘Chinese Charlie ‘ ..and a couple of ‘colleagues’..
.”Unbeknownst to Harvard University beginning in 2011, Lieber became a “Strategic Scientist” at Wuhan University of Technology (WUT) in China and was a contractual participant in China’s Thousand Talents Plan from in or about 2012 to 2017”
”Yanqing Ye, 29, a Chinese national, was charged in an indictment today with one count each of visa fraud, making false statements, acting as an agent of a foreign government and conspiracy. Ye is currently in China. ”
and
”Zaosong Zheng, 30, a Chinese national, was arrested on Dec. 10, 2019, at Boston’s Logan International Airport and charged by criminal complaint with attempting to smuggle 21 vials of biological research to China.”
then..in 2017…
2017 ( Jan ) :
Tony Fauci ( US)
”During a forum on pandemic preparedness at Georgetown University, Fauci said the Trump administration will not only be challenged by ongoing global health threats such as influenza and HIV, but also a surprise disease outbreak.”
2017 ( Feb) :
Bill Gates ( US)
”Whether it occurs by a quirk of nature or at the hand of a terrorist, epidemiologists say a fast-moving airborne pathogen could kill more than 30 million people in less than a year. And they say there is a reasonable probability the world will experience such an outbreak in the next 10 to 15 years”
( a terrorist, Bill ? Like who ?)
No ‘fake nooz’ here..
https://www.justice.gov/opa/pr/harvard-university-professor-and-two-chinese-nationals-charged-three-separate-china-related
https://www.healio.com/news/infectious-disease/20170111/fauci-no-doubt-trump-will-face-surprise-infectious-disease-outbreak
https://www.forbes.com/sites/brucelee/2017/02/19/bill-gates-warns-of-epidemic-that-will-kill-over-30-million-people/#620c7020282f
Are you getting paid to spout hard right neocon bigotry like that?
Are you in the union?
To be fair, that could be a fake photo, some petty child looking for detention after using photoshop instead of practising their covid drills
Another version I’ve seen that isn’t as good says ar se over his left shoulder
brilliant …love it…will make the obligatory donation in next few days
This just in…
Spokesman for the Lapwings Gulls Barn Owls and Tawny Pipits ( LGBT), Steven Seagull has expressed outrage :
”It’s typical of the mainstream to pander to those conspiracy theorists out there. Everyone knows that this Avian Flu was made in China, sold to Russia and stolen by America to make Brighton look bad because of it’s communist roots”
Peter Finch of the Bird’s Lives Matter ( BLM) responded on twitter :
” Take no notice of that moron Steven Seagull with his controlled oppsition BS. He’s mossad”
It has also emerged that an ambulance was seen speeding from Downing Street to a pretend hospital carrying a desperate( but brave) PM , Boris Johnson away. He was seen being stretchered aboard wearing a mask, snorkel and goggles.
”Don’t worry Britain, I’ll be home in 3 days” he threatened. I mean promised.
Our outside broadcaster, Terry Sparrow, managed to catch Neal Ferguson who was busy molesting his mistress without a mask in the back of Dominic Cummings car.
” Yes, it’s very early and I would urge the public not to panic.At this stage I think it would be prudent to lock yourself in a cellar if you have one. Failing that, the healthy alternative would be to duct tape your mouth closed and seal the nose with a clothes peg.Even at this early stage indications suggest that the mortality rate could reach four hundred and fifty thousand hundred and thirty six by Saturday Morning 11.am”
Our overseas reporter, Sheldon Pigeon, found some light at the end of the tunnel outside Gates Towers. Bill Gates, who knows about computers and stuff, said he could have the answer :
” This is already a second spike like the one me and Tony Fauci warned the Brightonians about when we were playing on the beach a few weeks ago.We haven’t managed to actually find the virus or any proof of it in anyone’s blood which means if everyone lets me put an ID tracker in their arm i can make a pretend vaccine for 10 grand a hit”
His friend, Elon Musk added :
” I like pigs”
The Commander In Chief, Donald Trump, interrupted his hairdresser’s appointment to issue a statement :
” Look OK. It’s fake nooz and everyone hates me OK. Nobody knows more than me about seagulls OK. If they wanna play hard ball with the US , let them OK. We’ll bomb their ass OK’‘ he pouted.
In the meantime, all we can do is pray and hope. If you see any birds flying without a mask, report them to your local police station.
Very funny.
Love it!
Cult of COVid
The priestclass and it devotees (voters and there elected)
Fantasy doom days prophecies of vote for us or the labour communist socialist have you queuing in the streets = unvaccinated
dirty none believers will take hold of the kingdom.
The holy see of KoshaConversative anti establishment sect brother head bishop Boris (fryeer tuck) himself caught it and he was so ill he was of god duty’s work for a whole week. Thank god for his resurrection
No tablets will work this deadly plagues already killed so many are figures dont figure but dont worry#we with the house of lord and saviour medicine lobbyist of the house of representatives
will bring angels of vaccination, praise their lord,
Curse the non believers they will not be sent to purgatory
Contact and tracers surveillance the eye ion the sky wil protect us from those demons heretic damn you for hating our way of life. The devil works in mysterious ways the invisible enemy you will not no your possessed until we test your faith,
talisman effigies of masks wil,l help protect the spread the dirty unsanitized walking unmoung us unmask they need saving from themselves Repent they shal for there sins
Praise the vulturecapitalist clap and kneel
Our nuns and Cardinals on the front line fighting thoses possessed by this evil which ahs taken hold of this world.
Performing exorcisms and saving lives saving us save the house of clergys and nuns NHS
Gospel according to Mattrew Holey see Hell;th Secretary and the house of WHO bri other smithkind and the gates of the kingdom will shine open for thsoes WHO follow us blindly.
They already isolated and located the demon in you.
come and redeem your self and be baptised at the testing center of excellence ..
WE prey for your safety and once we have the love of the lord we shall inject you with his love and his holey spirit hallelujah aluminum and mercury show no mercy
all will be and we can collectively can go back to our normal way of life and win this war.
allah BIG pharm akbar Shalom
Together we stand together ewe are united
My father-in-law is dying in hospital at this moment – last week he spent a whole day in A&E in severe pain having fallen and was sent home at 9.0pm the same night with no pain relief.
He returned to hospital three days later having fallen out of bed in agony. They put him on oral morphine for the pain and he was moved to an ‘elderly’ ward. His wife of 58 years goes to see him daily – only allowed one visit per day by the same person – she goes to the ward to be dressed up in a plastic overcoat and trousers and has a mask put on – then she is led to his bed – he is in great back pain, he has a mouth infection so cannot eat or drink, he is often delerious – he just about recognises the woman at his bedside, but only when she speaks – this is the fucking horror show that Hancock is responsible for
I do not see anything funny about this cunt who should be on trial for crimes against humanity
“should be on trial for crimes against humanity” – shouldn’t they all?
My brother just had open heart surgery. He had nothing but praise for the surgeons but he was sent home in some pain with just paracetamol. He asked if he could have the morphine tablets he came in with (for a back complaint) and was told -no- by nursing staff.
I thought the above article was excellent though.
I know the horror your family is going through and that words lose their meanings. Please accept all my sympathies. The hospitals made a mistake and I lost my mother. I blamed myself for having called emergency because she seemed to be having a heart attack. I keep thinking if she’d stayed home, it might have passed. And I was not even allowed to be with her. The doctor in attendance ran away when he saw me later.
And you see it didnt happen now. This was 2 years ago and it was one of the best in France.
It took me more than 2 years to reconnect with life.
And when I began reconnecting, I found myself locked up… From one horror to another…
It was during the lockdown that I got confirmation the hospital had made a mistake it should not have, though I had suspected it.
Its only holding on to the belief that we must go when our time comes and go in a way which we may not have any control over that Ive been able to somehow keep going. I had no idea one could suffer to this extent. The day I got confirmation, during the lockdown, in isolation, as I live alone, I felt like screaming out loud. But there was no one to hear.
So indeed please accept my heartfelt sympathy.
Ron and Hope, my experiences with the NHS were similar over ten years ago. It shocked me as I was working in the NHS at the time and I began to see what it had become, a machine which, although providing excellent treatment in some areas, could also grind people to shreds. I was able to use my inside position to remove my father from hospital , against the wishes of the NHS, and he died at home. The emotional cost was terrible, as you described Hope, a disconnect from life for years. Covid has made worse what was already present.
My sympathies to you both.
Thank you. Its so rare to meet someone who has gone through that disconnect. Its been terrifying. And the shock of the lockdown which merged into that grief has turned everything into a horror, and I lost my entire professional and social base as I had a headlong clash with that part of academia I was close to. Anyhow only since the last few days have I been able to begin working again: I resigned my professorship to write independently some years ago. And some days ago, an international group of scientists bent on re-establishing true science made me a member and so I wrote a first article for them. Then Im supposed to write another more detailed one. Also one about some political issues connected with covid measures (i.e. some shady private corporations behind it, of whom Gates seemingly is just a puppet) for a magazine. But the pain and the horror just came back this afternoon… As long as Im concentrated in reading and writing its fine, and I get back some peace. Mornings are ok, afternoons not so…
Possibly because you went through some of these emotions, and also possibly because I take it you are a doctor perhaps, you may understand…
Ive been very lucky because I found also very recently some people here in France who do understand. Its extremely helpful being with them. On the whole, Ive met with misunderstanding, if not outright unkindness during these last months because I wasnt up to what is considered professional and neutral, and kept somehow
slipping into the emotional sphere…
The feeling of disconnect and its attendant other feelings I could control before the lockdown, and in appearance things were going ok, a book contract, conference invitations round the world, meeting interesting people everywhere, even if none of it had any meaning or mattered.
But the shock of
this unprecedented measure which in France was extremely severe, and which in my case kept going on beyond the strict lockdown since borders remain closed or quarantines in place, or in Paris, masks, so that it has been much better really… Only after 5 months, could I escape to the countryside where I now am with the most kindly people…
Hope, unfortunately your experience is not unusual, bucking the medical establishment can be particularly difficult for doctors and more senior academic staff. I’ve seen colleagues ostracised and treated badly for not playing the game.I was a nurse, and feel I was lucky to retire when I did, as I would not be able to tolerate the current bureaucracy.
Keep doing the things you find give you some tranquility and do as you’ve done, find likeminded people to be around. I’m afraid the feelings you describe will return but eventually will become more manageable.
Completely agree with you re. Hancock. He can be reined in by er, ‘someone else’ though, can’t he? So why hasn’t that happened?
Ron, It must be awful for all of your family. My son is in hospital at the moment. He is limited to one visit per week and only one person can see him. This is because of ‘covid’ rules. I am afraid I have broken social distancing regulations…I have held and kissed my son.
I will continue to do so I agree Hancock and those like him should be on trial for crimes against humanity…..
I hope with all my heart that your father-in-law has some peace and comfort at this time, for his sake and that of his wife. I wish you well.
This is totally wonderful. I laughed all thru it. Thanks.
Can’t imagine him lasting half an hour.
He looks like premature ejaculation to me.
Yeah, I had an horrible expirience after reading this, article, and something really bad happened to me, I expirienced sharp and intense pain in parts of my face, some sort of mucle spasms or cramps in areas witch I havent used or use for such an long time I have forgotten it exsisted, and it took me an long time flipping thru the medical jounals and anals, to find something that could explain the exruciating pains in my face, due as an physical reaction to this, pice, and the only explanation that was close to this muculosceletar disorder eh… issues was something that they wrote about, an condition what they in acient times was defined as an Smile, an condition witch even was condemed as highly contagios and could even be the precorsur to something even more rear, oh…. horror, an laughter.
peace
Any country that’s got a ”Matt Hancock” in such a position of prominence has given up its right to be taken seriously. He looks like a little boy who’s playing at being a politician.
Why does politics attract so many unutterable twats?
These emasculated spineless parrots are groomed for these positions
Plus they come with genetically modified gaping arseholes with a infinite type of ass lube serum to take any sort of political rogering at any given time 24/7 365 days of the year !!!
No wonder little Matt the emasculated, spineless parrot’s trying to make a sharp exit in that photo…someone’s after him with the infinite ass lube serum! Ouch!
He’s seems to like being nutted for his nectar the nefarious nerd nympho
Nutted for his nectar? Yes, I think that’s a distinct possibility. I’m sure their handlers in the security services have got all kinds of information like that on these weirdos. Keeps ’em in their place as loyal parrots!
“Why does politics attract so many unutterable twats?”
Because they don’t rock the corporate boat, mate.
500 million today just given to a new test for coroni
half a billion pounds
for a fake test in a desperate bid to find some dead cirus debris that does not exist
for free i can tell you the problem
5g inflamtion
I agree.I am inflamed.
And just remember any test is only valid at the moment it is done. You could do the test walk in the pub and get corvid (yes I’m adding the R because I can!)
you may laugh
you you all are paying for the comedy
hankock has a 5 floor townhouse house in the country
and enough future directorships to get him north of 15 million
this fool has great stamina and a great future in big farma pharma
He’ll keep, along with others.
I agree.He is a fool.
Great fun, yet not so far fetched when you think about it
Hancocks Half Hour? Do you think it will be better or worse than the original, the program that British people will not defend because they are too weak. Really, you are going to let the government steal the name of one of the UK’s best programs? Idjuts.
BBC does not respect UK citizens, but UK citizens are too dumb to acknowledge that they are being manipulated. I have spoken to people who think they are “OK” because they don’t watch BBC news and have not noticed the political correctness in all of the BBC output. Yes, the British can be very dumb, but the other 7 billion of us are aware of the BBC, including everybody I have spoken to that comes from Aus, NZ and Canada. In fact, I was a bit taken aback by a Canadian the other day who pronounced that “The BBC are the worst”. But keep sucking on that teat, sure its only sport, your brain will be fine!
Similar indoctrination is everywhere. I have a friend in Vancouver who was telling me that one of the citizens there was saying to her that the Holocaust happened because the Jews didn’t know their human rights!
How does a citizen know he is not manipulated? Also, shouldn’t you be attacking the manipulators in order to help the manipulated?
Weak people make themselves targets for manipulation. People raised to be strong and question authority can still be manipulated but are more likely to question and distrust leaders offering gifts. It appears to me that the British, along with other five eyes countries, have some sort of view of their country as their extended family. As a result the British view the BBC as almost a part of themselves, rather than a tool to manipulate the masses. The fault is with the parents who raise their children this way and not with the powers controlling them.
This silly article has done no favours for OffGuardian.
There is some excellent advice for Hancock and his cronies in there. For example ‘Check out to help out’ is inspired. It should be on the front page of the World Economic Forum’s website.
A joke about suicide in the context of the strange current state of the world, eh? Well, just a couple of weeks ago a good friend of mine lost a young cousin to suicide, very possibly caused, directly or indirectly, by the state of the world. We are hearing from GPs that the suicide rate has gone off the scale; and indeed from what I can tell, men are being subtly encouraged to do it. It’s no joke whatsoever. Likewise the waterboard ‘joke’.
It’s not “the strange current state of the world”.
It’s what governments, bankers, the military and industry are purposefully inducing.
It’s a psychological operation in order to destabilize.
Whether it’s strange or not is subjective but how does this contradict my viewpoint?
Because your comment implied the state of the world is arbitrary. Most people are dealing with anxiety and depression.
Gallows humor, under this kind of circumstance is just a normal response to coping with stress.
So what part does communist China with its huge, dictatorship government, it’s massive military and industry, play in all this, if any? Or are you happy to trust Yellow Man Good with his friends Bill Gates, the WHO, the NYT and other media outlets, his army of social media trolls spreading disinformation, and his Wuhan experts?
Oh, must mean I am on the side of the WHO, the NYT, the NWO etc. just because I call a silly article a silly article!!! Sheeesh!!!!!
Tom….. just smile will-ya 🙂
Even I am, and that says ^%& loads ..anyway, its fine to laugh sometimes
Cheer up ! …there is precious little time left for laughter
#the game is over
Nothing will stop whats coming
So enjoy a laugh while we still can
Sorry I will laugh when the occasion takes me — not when I’m presented with this sort of thing.
Then piss off and let the rest of us be happy for some light relief during the bullshit we are being put through by those meant to serve us. It’s dark humour, totally appropriate in dark times.
You sound like a humourless and sad person.
If this sort of shit makes you happy then you are a serious loser.
Sad bastard.
Grow up.
Fuck you. You stated your opinion and I stated mine. End of story.
I think you need to grow up. It’s satire. Not all satire is to everyone’s taste. Don’t like it scroll on bye bye
Well that was colorful.
Hancock would be good casting as Harry Lime.
Do you remember what happened to Harry Lime?
Does Hancock?
https://tottnews.com/2020/09/02/freedom-day-protests-australia/
also Byron Bay
couldn’t you pick a different name?
Stand Australia ~ 3 min movie ~
https://www.facebook.com/Neilpascoe/videos/10157057719045938/
Government lockdown policies constitute ‘violence’ in my opinion. There are many forms of violence.
Indeed. My first mask, which I lost, had ‘This is assault’ on it. I put the message on my mask for times when I would be forced to wear it. The mask only harms you, ergo…
Is there a non-physical violence, such as calling someone ‘racist’? If I say a famous religion incites violence, or write an article entitled ‘Trump incites violence’, is that violence?
Asset stripping politicians, who turn thriving towns into ghost towns, creating thousands of unemployed town folk are committing ‘violence’.
Good image, and useful. Save,copy, print, distribute! Thanks.
Near sixfold increase in Kildare nursing home deaths in April, report says – Irish Times, Aug 25
Underlying medical conditions were recorded in 99 per cent of fatal cases, the report says. The average age of the deceased was 82.5 years, and 55 per cent were women.
This is hardly news. Similar stats were being reported from China and Italy in March.
Black curtains are being drawn across the sky.
We are China, Russia, North Korea. I hope people are downloading and saving all the coronavirus related videos that YouTube, Twitter and Facebook are frantically censoring.
*UK Gov’t confirms Covid-19 harmless to the VAST MAJORITY of people*
Video. 11th May 2020 – UK Government Chief Medical Officer, Chris Whitty, before he turned Quisling:
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=adj8MCsZKlg
Set aside China and North Korea, were we Russia … that might be an improvement.
Unquestionably.
What’s wrong with Russia? lol, eyes not-so-open if you think that Russia is the same as China and North Korea. Russians are not an oppressed people.
Turkmenistan might be a better country to add to the list.
I’m using the countries that the Western media most often points the finger at.
Fair enough. Understood.
Simon Dolan discusses upcoming appeal against UK government’s COVID response on Sarah Westall Show. Discussion starts at 6 minutes. https://youtu.be/7hvohFLMV78?t=380
The articles referred to in the Simon Dolan interview – Scientists knew suicides would spike during Event Covid — and that hundreds of thousands would die because of Lockdown.
Lithium in drinking water linked with lower suicide rates – King’s College, London, Jul 27
Naturally occurring lithium in public drinking water may have an anti-suicidal effect – according to a new study from Brighton and Sussex Medical School (BSMS) and the Institute of Psychiatry, Psychology & Neuroscience at King’s College London.
https://www.vice.com/en_us/article/akzyeb/link-between-lithium-in-drinking-water-suicide-study – Vice, Aug 5
Lockdown may cost 200,000 lives, government report shows – Daily Telegraph, Jul19
Distancing and masks at Guantanamo Bay
Do you have a picture of Assange in a mask?
Do you?
Why yes, – I believe I do!:…
😉
I notice upright Herrenvolk not wearing the regulation blue Con-19 hijab — the sign of servitude is worn only by the kneeling Untermenschen. As a child I used to see something similar in photos from Nazi occupied Europe.
“They remove the mask when off camera”.
Did you see any Nazis among ISIS executioners?
…- Er, their embedded CIA/MI6/Mossad ‘advisors’?…
Ah, now I see why ISIS put its many gringo victims in those orange jump suits, to evoke this infamous prison. But prisoners and punishments differ according to culture, and the ones in this photo aren’t journalists, aid workers, and other innocent people imprisoned, terrorized, and then beheaded at random. They are likely all brutal terrorist killers, rapists and torturers.
Actually, dear shill, many of them were just randomly arrested and sent to Guantanamo (via third party countries for waterboarding, and being starved, and housed in cages barely big enough to house a cat.
FFS! Lithium causes health problems, as does fluoride. This is forced medication of the masses and a breach of human rights.
Let people use fluoride on their teeth if they want to, and lithium for their mental health if they want to – but don’t impose it on the rest of us.
I’d say governments actually want increased suicide rates. 130,000 austerity driven deaths is not a sign of a government that cares.
“I’d say governments actually want increased suicide rates.”
I wouldn’t. I’d just say they were incompetent fools. (When I’m being polite).
Naturally occurring Lithium in water… really? It might occur naturally but I’m fecking sure it’s artificially added.
Maybe it’s added due to the pollution that no government cannot be arsed to deal with.
There’s no ‘virus’. There’s just sickness. And there’s certainly causes – that they don’t want you to notice and talk about.
“Feb 6, 2016 – The Truth About the Zika Virus Jon Rappoport on The Corbett Report” / https://www.bitchute.com/video/fq47ztIiYohT/
“COVID: It’s not one thing, it’s not one disease” by Jon Rappoport / https://blog.nomorefakenews.com/2020/04/01/covid-its-not-one-thing-its-not-one-disease/
People didn’t fight back soon enough for sure. And that speaks to the first catastrophe, without which the second catastrophe, namely covid 1984, could not have happened. What was the first catastrophe? People have allowed themselves to be turned into cattle. Cattle don’t fight back. They get slaughtered and eaten. And then normal people get caught up in the slaughter.
Looks like you blame normal cattle rather than their evil herders. Building a united popular resistance won’t be easy like that.
Normal cattle? Adults who CHOOSE to not know? Yes, I blame them. So now I’m the enemy. Why?
I learned all about Simon Dolan from a UK Column News show. But this is the first time I’ve heard him speak. Appreciated.
Well done for the photo choice, fits the satire perfectly.
There seems to be a connection between the torture techniques promoted by the neo nazi covid cult and descriptions of how this girl was drowned in this video about “ritual abuse by the British establishment”. Could the same people behind the “virus” also organise rape and terrorist attacks to forment fear and division?
This blog post highlights the US military’s use of face masks (and other things) for psychological torture:
http://hungryblues.net/2006/12/05/torture-systems/
Have you also posted about the torture techniques used by Chinese communists in their many hundreds of concentration camps? Some escapees say organ harvesting has even been practiced against living prisoners.
https://www.buzzfeednews.com/article/alison_killing/china-ex-prisoners-horrors-xinjiang-camps-uighurs
The US has its own concentration/torture camps, as you know. Many run by private companies.
I’m neither a fan of China, which is communist in name only, and a dystopia in its own right.
Thanks, I needed this today. There are others speaking the truth too..
https://www.suffolkgazette.com/business/london-becoming-overgrown-as-city-workers-stay-away/
Stephen McMurray.
Who and what is he? Where are the biogs at the bottom of the articles and links as is usual?
What obscurantism is this OGee?
The piece is longer than a Galton/Simpson genius comic gem that the Lad used to be given to parrot .
If you REALLY wanted to look at Hancock and his minders – you would write about Junkerman and the shadowy Health body which runs Handjob.
But no we get some petty mesmerism and psycho babble narrative construction by McMurray – who ever he is.
DunGroanin shouldn’t you change your user name to Dunlaughing?
“Stephen McMurray. Who and what is he?”
You know, dung, I often ask myself the very same question about you.
Who ever you are.
At least he has a name!
I’m going with former Civil Serpent.
Therefore, as they are all made of the same grey, faceless stuff, a name is unnecessary. They could all be the same person. Now I’ve written that, it occurs to me that they could be – all cloned from the same alpha drudge.
But who is he?
Worried about conformity? A neat exposition of how it works its way:
Hmmm the blue circle actually LOOKS larger to me – I must be terminally brainwashed!
Yeah, the blue circle looks larger to me also; since the red circle is dimmer and less distinct, at least in the video image, it feels like a trick. Perhaps there’s distortion from the video due to the camera lens, angle, etc.
Admission/disclaimer: Since I’ve lived in urban or suburban locations, I don’t often see the moon rising over a distant uncluttered horizon.
That said, for me when the (fullish) moon appears over the horizon, it’s large and has a yellowish or orangey cast. As it rises, it becomes smaller and silvery white.
I’ve read several popular-science articles that insist that this perception is purely an optical illusion– that the rising moon may “seem” larger at the horizon, but that’s only because the eye/brain is “fooled” by its proximity to the horizon and its features (buildings, trees, etc.).
They claim that the moon’s size “objectively” remains constant. I just don’t buy it. I’m sure that there’s something about the angle of view or atmospheric effects that magnifies the moon (and tints it) when it’s closer to the horizon.
Given our oh-so-enlightened PM’s comments about gay men, that pop group should rightly be called the Bum Boy Three.
Be fair; Boris is much more liberal than many Britons. For example, 50% of UK Muslims want homosexuality outlawed. But I guess attacking Boris is risk-free.
https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2016/apr/11/british-muslims-strong-sense-of-belonging-poll-homosexuality-sharia-law
Like many people, you’ve fallen for his nonsense. ”Boris” is what he wants you to call him. It’s merely his public persona. People who are close to him call him by another name. Perhaps you should educate yourself a bit more on the matter.
Still, you keep sticking it to the Muslims, you hero!
The bird obviously needed one of these:
https://utwpods.com/products/shieldpod
If only Del Bugtree had questioned the existance of the ‘virus’ we would be ok. He is a controlled opposition traitor to the health advocacy movement peddling propaganda about the ‘virions’ existance. What an absolute scumbag.
That’s harsh. We need to know that Del is deliberately pedaling falsehoods before we condemn him like that. And Del, whatever things he gets wrong (as if we don’t get things wrong), fights for social justice. He fights for freedom and for informed consent. I very, very much appreciate that.
I think he doesn’t know.
There are people who still believe in science and medicine and don’t know that about 3/4 is fraud.
Saying the coronavirus doesn’t exist must be so offensive to the Wuhan scientists who located various deadly kinds in Chinese horseshoe bats, years ago. Also, peddling such propaganda discredits serious critics of lockdown and authoritarian governments as conspiracy theorists.
Isolation and characterization of a bat SARS-like coronavirus that uses the ACE2 receptor
https://www.nature.com/articles/nature12711?fbclid=IwAR13dLP-B4mOYlfWlwkl9Ciys5jaHmUeenjgQjjkbp0cwPVWuSOBrHYk9SA
Hilarious Hancock sneeze scene at 7 minutes:
Sid’s wearing a mask and sprays Tommy every time he coughs, with “crop spray, great clouds of perfumed insect killer”.
Hancock’s Half Hour The Cold S6 Ep1
https://www.dailymotion.com/video/x5gj1h5