It’s Cold in Davos

Sylvia Shawcross

Well, heaven help us—the Gods of Mount Davos are meeting again. We’re now at Wefcon2. Run! Run!

But I digress.

Not.

So let us just examine this with an open mind just so that we the mooing herds can have some idea of how this new year is going to unravel. I do know that they seem to want to reinvigorate “trust” in the general public. It is the highlight of their agenda. Now, don’t be laughing. We know (but they don’t) that they never had our trust in the first place.

How could they have had trust?

By the time most of us had figured out who they were, they were already untrustworthy. Poor devils. They, once again, are chasing their delusions. Who are we however to deny them what small bits of happiness they can muster up? They truly want to make us to trust them.

Hahahahahahaha… oh dear… let’s go on shall we?

There’s only so much laughing hysterically we can do as human beings after all. Let’s try not to be cynical. Or more cynical anyway.

First when it comes to trust and respect we’ll be needing to know what they’ll be eating. That’s always the first thing. Will it be cricket caviar or Kobe beef at $300 a pound? It takes an awful lot of crickets to make a pound so I suspect they’re about the same price and so whatever they eat will cost us taxpayers quite a bit.

We can only hope they’ll choose the socially-acceptable menu if nothing else. And if they want our trust, leading by example, they will drink the cockroach cocoa and silverfish spritzers and eat imitation beetle beef with a side order of fly fries. On camera. Live. If they want our trust….

The second thing is how many private jets and limousines are they using to overwhelm Co2 levels on the planet again? Last year it was an outrageously grievous number and it wasn’t a good look for them. Even still they made a stab of an effort and they “did” bring in buses. The elite’s underlings with gnarly smirks were indeed seen getting off the buses awkwardly as if they didn’t know what the hell they were doing. (Which of course, they probably didn’t.)

I don’t know that the buses were in fact EVs or not. Probably not. It’s cold in Davos. And Minneapolis, Edmonton and some place in Australia know all about how EV buses don’t work in the cold. They learned the hard way of course after spending millions before discovering this. It certainly made us taxpayers cry. Even still, you gotta say they tried. They failed a pretty basic test as in who on earth would not have anticipated cold weather? I mean really! It boggles the mind! Really!!!!

But… you know, everybody makes mistakes. We need to give them some kind of applause for effort perhaps. Meanwhile, the big ones, the leaders had their tinted window limousines which were probably justified as protection from the mooing herds flatulating on them or something. They need to eliminate that tint stuff. It’s hard to trust anyone behind tinted glass. I’m sure they’d be happy to do this for us. And exactly how many security personnel do they really need? For heavens sakes!

You’ve got to have enraged an awful lot of people to require that level of security which makes it difficult for any of us to believe in all this goodness they want us to believe in. Get rid of all that secrecy and security! If they want our trust….

Next we’ll want to know how many prostitutes have they funnelled in for the event? This is why they actually have to meet in person rather than do all this meeting stuff with zoom technology thereby saving the planet from their climate-killing private jets. Having sex with a strange person on line just doesn’t have the same effect as in mucking about with a real person now does it?

They’re not the most popular people in the world, these WEF types so we can probably cut them some slack here—who else would sleep with them? They gotta get it where they can get it. This however does mean they have to assure us that they are not using underage prostitutes, are paying the prostitutes fair wages and have in fact informed their spouses of their intentions at Davos so we don’t have to go through all that wearying divorce publicity, and that they in fact do not use taxpayer money for any of these shenanigans. If they want our trust…

How many bottles of champagne will they have available for the late-night parties? These are measurable goals for the public to ascertain how much havoc they will force upon us in the coming year and whether or not we should trust them. We know that the WEF met approximately only 18% of their goals last year by their own account. This year they will be frothing and fuming and frantic to meet their goals. A pending world war, a financial meltdown and potential famines and disease might not do the trick. They’ll have to come up with a whole new set of horrors.

Maybe they won’t horrify us? Maybe they’ll switch roles, stop trying to control the entire world, and try and entertain us instead… Klaus singing and dancing while riding the four horsemen of the Apocalypse with his cult members high-kicking to some “kill the motherfucker rap song.” I dunno… But they’ll have to pull out all the stops if they want us to trust them now… After what they’ve done. And they definitely need to stop doing what they’re doing. Not double down for heavens sakes.

And speaking of this… I understand Mr. Gore, aka Mr. Green himself is stepping down. Nope. Nope. NONE of these Davos people get to step down. NOT. NO. NEVER! They are going to have to ride this thing out to the bitter end with the rest of us. Ain’t no way they get to spirit away to their exotic bunkers after promulgating all this. Their greenness is a life sentence in the public eye. It should be. If they want our trust….

Also, I’m not sure why there are so many articles and channels dedicated to the topic of finding happiness. We already know. The WEF has told us: We will own nothing and be happy. So there. Hand everything over to the State and we can frolic about in a happy daze because they will take care of us.

Historically this has never worked but then since when did history matter? Even the American constitution only promised people “the pursuit of happiness.”

But these guys—they have the answer right?

And speaking of happy, here’s an earworm to cheer you up:

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