empire watch, Essays, latest, satire, United States, USA
Comments 8

From previously unpublished pages of Gogol’s “Diary of a Madman”

by Vladimir Golstein

From recently found and previously unpublished pages of Gogol’s “Diary of a Madman.”

Day 1.
Woke up late today.  Read NYT.  There are a lot of things that bother me.  There are Russian spies and Nazis everywhere.  And all they do is plotting something against our democracy.  What a disgrace.

Went to a coffee shop.  On the way there, saw a dog carrying a newspaper.  A Chinese Chow-Chow dog.  Oh, those are crafty.  Followed it.  Found where it lived.  As I was getting close to it, I’ve heard it grumbled something.  But it was in Chinese, so I didn’t quite get it.  I wonder, how they make it in this country without English.

Returned home and listened to the NPR.  Our president bothers me.  He wants to keep foreigners out.  If he does that, who will cut my grass?

Had my quinoa salad and went to bed.

Day 2.
The NYT wasn’t at its usual place on the porch. Somebody must have read it already.  Must be one of those dogs.  They like to get the news before me. I wonder what did it try to find there?  Advertising for dog’s shampoo or something more political.  Oh, those Chinese, they really control North Korea, and our president wants to bomb North Korea.  Yes, here is the rub.

Looked at the newspaper. There was nothing on North Korea, but plenty about Putin. This Putin is the one to watch.  He is even more crafty than Chinese.  He must be a Jew or something.

Decided to revisit the place where the dog lives.  Found out another dog wondering around this place.  A female pug.  They might have an affair or something.  As the female was circling around the porch, the male Chau-Chau dropped a note from the second floor.  I was there first, and got it before the pug.  Who growled at me, but I waved my hands, and the pug backed off.  Rushed home to read the note.

Day 3.
Could not sleep all night.  The note kept me wondering.  Turns out, the Chau-Chau is the Russian hacker.  Yes, I’ll be damned.  The note contained all the secret codes by which the dog managed to get into President Trump’s computer.  Turns out, the computer was empty.  There was nothing there except a couple of inane tweets. The Chau-Chau’s note was full of fear.  He was afraid he might be punished for not finding more.  What a fool.  He could not figure out that the ruler of our country does not use English.  The deep state is all Jewish, and therefore their language moves not from left to right but from right to left.  No wonder the Chau-Chau could not read anything.  He should have been reading in reverse.

They can’t fool me, those Khazars.  Do you know when you read Chau-Chau in reverse, you get Soros, and when you read Trump in reverse, you get Putin.  And yes, when you read Putin in reverse you get Rothschild.  That’s how these guys operate in any case.

Once I understood it, I wrote a letter to the NYT and NPR.  The public has to know the truth.  Except the Jews who control the media and would never publish it.  I am better off to organize the dogs’ rebellion.  From tomorrow on, I am beginning to learn the dogs’ language.  Time to organize.  Listened to NPR, but there was nothing there about dogs, so I turned it off and went to bed.

Tomorrow will be a better day.

Vladimir Golstein teaches Slavic Studies at Brown University.  He is a frequent political commentator on RT and Mintpress.

8 Comments

  1. This is weird. Not because the circuits of logic course outside the usual channels of what is deemed to be rational, but because it describes actual events in my own life, indeed, those of exactly the last couple of days, including the Chow Chow and the female pug incident.

    Clearly, this post is a personal message to me and a warning: Vladimir, with a name like Golstein, but clearly intimating Putin, Vladimir Golstein, is clearly part of the deeper side of the deep state, and knows that I’ve got a fix on exactly what the tribe is up to, and is letting me know personally — knowing that I often read and comment on articles posted, here, at OffGuardian — that “they” know I know . . .

    Oh, It’s time to organize, alright. But with whom and how many, now that Vladimir is onto to me?

    I’m even beginning to suspect that the two dogs living with me, a seven year old Toy Poodle and a ten year old West Highland White Terrier, both foreign breeds in this country, with the one being black and the other white, and whom I’ve had and nurtured since week-old puppies, but whom I adopted at my wife’s urging, are now in with the Chow Chow and female pug, all part of the plot to bring us down. I look out through the kitchen window into the back yard, and there be dead soldiers everywhere . . . these dogs aren’t even being subtle in their threats . . .

    Like

  2. Dead World Walking says

    It’s not the dogs you’ve got to worry about.
    It’s the politicians, CEOs and Ruling Class masquerading as humans.

    Like

.....................

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s