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The Year of Putin-Nazi Paranoia

CJ Hopkins

A Trump supporter waving Trump’s 2020 campaign poster at a republican rally earlier this year.

As my regular readers will probably recall, according to my personal, pseudo-Chinese zodiac, 2017 was “The Year of the Headless Liberal Chicken.” This year, having given it considerable thought, and having consulted the I Ching, and assorted other oracles, I’m designating 2018 “The Year of Putin-Nazi Paranoia.”

Not that 2017 wasn’t already paranoid. It was. It was completely paranoid, and otherwise clinically batshit crazy. But 2018 has been batshit crazier. It started out with the Internet companies that control the flow of information that most of us now perceive as “reality” launching an all-out War on Dissent, purportedly to protect the public from “divisive” and “confusing” content, and other forms of Russian “influencing.”

Twitter started sending out scary emails warning customers that there was “reason to believe” that they had “followed,” “retweeted,” or “liked the content of” accounts “connected to a propaganda effort by a Russian government-linked organization.” Facebook launched its own Ministry of Truth, manned by “a dedicated counter-terrorism team” of “former intelligence and law-enforcement officials” (also known as The Atlantic Council, NATO’s unofficial propaganda wing). Google stepped up its covert deranking of insufficiently Russia-hating and other “non-authoritative” websites.

This Orwellian corporate censorship campaign was enthusiastically welcomed by liberals and other Russia-and-Trump-obsessives, who by this time were already completely convinced that secret Russian Facebook agents were conspiring to transform the Western masses into zombified, Russia-loving neo-Nazis by means of some sort of irresistible Putin-Nazi hypno-technology that would melt their brains to oatmeal the second they clicked on one of those dancing cat GIFs.

But the paranoia was just getting started. By the Spring, professional Putin-Naziologists were issuing warnings explaining that anyone using words like “globalist,” “globalism,” or “global capitalism” was an anti-Semite. There was no such thing as “globalism,” they told us. “Globalist” was just Nazi codespeak for “JEW!” Moreover, anyone criticizing “the media,” or mentioning “banks,” “Wall Street,” or “Hollywood,” or, God help you, making fun of “George Soros,” was clearly a Russia-loving, Sieg-heiling Nazi.

Meanwhile, in London, Blairites were busy combing through six year-old Facebook posts in an effort to prove that Jeremy Corbyn had transformed the British Labour Party into his personal Putin-Nazi death cult. The Guardian published over one hundred articles smearing Corbyn as an anti-Semite and “linking” Labour to anti-Semitism. The BBC jacked up the Russia paranoia, doctoring Corbyn’s hat on TV to make it appear more insidiously Slavic. Owen Jones sprang to Corbyn’s defense, explaining that, yes, the Labour Party was a disgusting hive of anti-Semites, but they were doing their utmost to root out the Nazis, ban all criticism of the IDF, and reverse the mass exodus of Jews from London.

All this was happening in the wake of the notorious Novichok Porridge and Perfume Attacks, allegedly perpetrated by two totally incompetent, pot-smoking, prostitute-banging “assassins” that Putin personally dispatched to Salisbury to miserably fail to take out their target and then waltz around getting photographed by every CCTV camera in Great Britain. According to the corporate media, Putin tried to cover the crimes of these Jason Bourne-like GRU assassins by ordering his network of Putin-Nazi Twitter bots to flood the Internet with disinformation. Sky News captured and mercilessly interrogated one of these alleged “Twitter bots,” who it turned out was just a feisty British pensioner by the name of Ian, or at least that’s what Putin wants us to believe!

Back in America, millions of liberals and other Russia-and-Trump-obsessives were awaiting the Putin-Nazi Apocalypse, which despite the predictions of Resistance pundits had still, by the Summer, failed to materialize. The corporate media were speculating that Putin’s latest “secret scheme” was for Trump to destroy the Atlantic alliance by arriving late for the G7 meeting. Or maybe Putin’s secret scheme was to order Trump to sadistically lock up a bunch of migrants in metal cages, exactly as Obama had done before him … but these were special Nazi cages! And Trump was separating mothers and children, which, as General Michael Hayden reminded us, was more or less exactly the same as Auschwitz! Paul Krugman had apparently lost it, and was running around the offices of The New York Times shrieking that “America as we know it is finished!” Soros had been smuggled back into Europe to single-handedly thwart the Putin-Nazi plot to “dominate the West,” which he planned to do by canceling the Brexit (which Putin had obviously orchestrated) and overthrowing the elected government of Italy (which, according to Soros, was a Putin-Nazi front).

As if that wasn’t paranoia-inducing enough, suddenly, Trump flew off to Helisnki to personally meet with the Devil Himself. The neoliberal establishment went totally apeshit. A columnist for The New York Times predicted that Trump, Putin, Le Pen, the AfD, and other such Nazis were secretly forming something called “the Alliance of Authoritarian and Reactionary States,” and intended to disband the European Union, and NATO, and impose international martial law and start ethnically cleansing the West of migrants. That, or Trump and Putin were simply using the summit as cover to attend some Nazi-equestrian homosexual orgy, which The Times took pains to illustrate by creating a little animated film depicting Trump and Putin as lovers. In any event, Jonathan Chait was certain that Trump had been a “Russian intelligence asset” since at least as early as 1987, and was going to Helsinki to “meet his handler.”

In the wake of the summit, the neoliberal Resistance, like some multi-headed mythical creature in the throes of acute amphetamine psychosis, started spastically jabbering about “treason” and “traitors,” and more or less demanding that Trump be tried, and taken out and shot on the White House lawn. A frenzy of neo-McCarthyism followed. Liberals started accusing people of being “traitorous agents of Trump and Moscow,” and openly calling for a CIA coup, because we were “facing a national security emergency!” A devastating Russian cyber-attack was due to begin at any moment. National Intelligence Director Dan Coats personally assured the Associated Press that the little “Imminent Russia Attack” lights he had on his desk were “blinking red.”

Into this maelstrom of monomania boldly slunk the Charlottesville Nazis, who had resolved to reenact their infamous national white supremacist tikki torch conclave right across the street from the White House this year. The Resistance and Antifa had been promoting this event as the long anticipated Putin-Nazi uprising, and Kristallnacht II, and other such nonsense, so it was a bit of a letdown when only twenty or thirty rather timid Nazis turned up. It felt like maybe the Great Nazi Panic of 2018 was finally over.

But no, of course it wasn’t over. The Nazis had just gone underground. Weeks later, right there on national television, a Jewish-Mexican-American Nazi was spotted transmitting secret Nazi hand signals to her Nazi co-conspirators. One of them, a US Coast Guard member, then relayed the secret Nazi signal to … well, it wasn’t entirely clear, perhaps the Underground Putin-Nazi Navy, which was steaming toward the Florida coast hidden in the eye of Hurricane Florence.

By the Autumn, with the midterm elections fast approaching, the Putin-Nazi terrorists finally struck. It soon became clear that those secret hand signs were just parts of a much larger Trumpian conspiracy to “embolden” a couple of totally psychotic wackos to unleash their hatred on the public. Wacko Number One accomplished this by mailing a series of non-exploding explosive devices to various prominent members of the neoliberal Resistance. Wacko Number Two stormed into a synagogue in Pittsburgh and murdered a lot of people. While the corporate media were unable to prove that Trump, Putin, or possibly Jeremy Corbyn, had personally “emboldened” these wackos, clearly, they had been “emboldened” by somebody, and thus were definitely domestic Putin-Nazi “terrorists,” and not just mentally disturbed individuals … like all the other mentally-disturbed individuals who go around murdering people all the time.

In November, at last, the tide began to turn. Despite the relentless “chaos campaign to undermine faith in American democracy” that the Russian bots and Nazis were waging, the Democrats managed to win back the House and rescue America from “the brink of fascism.” Apparently, the War on Dissent was working, because the millions of Black people that the Russians had brainwashed into not voting for Clinton in 2016 with those Jesus-doesn’t-like-masturbation memes had all miraculously been deprogrammed.

Liberals celebrated by singing hymns to Special Prosecutor Robert Mueller and compiling lists of people to subpoena to testify before congressional committees in what will someday be known as “the Hitlergate Hearings.” The New York Times even published a “roadmap” that Mueller and his team can follow to “send incriminating evidence directly to Congress,” thus protecting this “evidence” from the Justice Department, which is totally infested with Russians and Nazis!

But it’s not quite time for liberals to break out the vuvuzelas and Trump effigies yet … or to let up on the paranoia. The Putin-Nazi menace is still out there! The Internet is still literally crawling with all sorts of deviant, division sowing content! And now the Russian bots have brainwashed the French into staging these unruly Yellow Vest protests, and the Putin-Nazis have “weaponized” humor, and the economy, and religion, and Brexit, and Wikileaks, and pretty much everything else you can imagine. So this is no time to switch off the television, and log off the Internet, and start thinking critically … or to forget for one moment that THE NAZIS ARE COMING, and that A DEVASTATING RUSSIAN ATTACK IS IMMINENT!

So here’s wishing my Russia-and-Trump-obsessed readers a merry, teeth-clenching, anus-puckering Christmas and a somewhat mentally-healthier New Year! Me, I’m looking forward to discovering how batshit crazy things can get … I have a feeling we ain’t seen nothing yet.

CJ Hopkins is an award-winning American playwright, novelist and satirist based in Berlin. His plays are published by Bloomsbury Publishing (UK) and Broadway Play Publishing (USA). His debut novel, ZONE 23, is published by Snoggsworthy, Swaine & Cormorant. He can be reached at cjhopkins.com or consentfactory.org

Feel free to come find him in Berlin and buy him a beer. He’s been known to frequent an assortment of extremely suspicious RUSSIAN establishments in Kreuzberg.

Filed under: empire watch, featured, latest, Russia, United States

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CJ Hopkins is an award-winning American playwright, novelist and satirist based in Berlin. His plays are published by Bloomsbury Publishing (UK) and Broadway Play Publishing (USA). His debut novel, ZONE 23, is published by Snoggsworthy, Swaine & Cormorant. He can be reached at cjhopkins.com or consentfactory.org Feel free to come find him in Berlin and buy him a beer. He’s been known to frequent an assortment of extremely suspicious RUSSIAN establishments in Kreuzberg.

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intergenerationaltrauma
Reader

Here in the U.S. mainstream media reports suggest that literally everyone except the Orange One himself seems to think actually leaving Syria, a nation we of course have no right to occupy, is simply a very very very bad idea. Many assume Putin is behind this – I of course kid you not. The cast of strange bedfellows uniformly against leaving Syria is rather diverse in keeping with our love of all things “identity politics” related. From aging Zionist movie stars like Bette Midler and Cher (who most of us didn’t even know were still alive); to the usual rouge’s… Read more »

vexarb
Reader

IGTrauma, batshit is the official AZC reply to Trump’s ace card; but what is the opinion of the Deplorables — the humble working stiffs “worthy people, without them the country cannot stand — but their voice is not heard atthe tables of the great”? That ace Get Out of Syria card won the election for candidate Trump and I guess it will win re-election for President Trump, in the teeth of a storm of abuse and vilification by the AZC and their MSM the like of which has not been seen in your country since the days when they [were… Read more »

intergenerationaltrauma
Reader

vexarb – I think that those “Deplorables” who supported Trump’s election did so primarily based on economic promises of renewing the American industrial base, jobs, stopping illegal immigration which is blamed for lower wages, in short they voted for Trump based on promises of future economic prosperity. While I think many people agreed with the Orange One’s position that there is no reason not to normalize relations with Russia (myself and many one the left included), sadly I don’t think foreign policy (as amazing as this might seem) plays much of a role in either the Republican or Democratic base’s… Read more »

vexarb
Reader

IGT, your summary of Trump’s “untenable position” looks highly probable, given the rise of the AZC since the advent of Reagonomics. But what does “highly probable” mean? One of your Ivy League universities estimated 99.99% probability for Killary Klingon beating Trump; but the Deplorables voted otherwise. I wrote at the time that Highly Probable is the Maharajah who bought up every ticket in the lottery — except the winning one. Highly Probable is the student who failed in geometry by writing, “I cannot prove it but I think I can make it appear highly probable”. I still think that Trump’s… Read more »

vexarb
Reader

The Saker’s comment on The Exceptional Uncle $cam: The US dream of remaining the sole superpower (aka “World Hegemon”) is long dead. What can the US do in this situation? To trigger a “kinetic” war would be suicidal. Bullying Russia with threats does not work. Pretending like reality is not happening is the current US strategy, but it is clearly unsustainable (and every Tu-160 visit to Venezuela further undermines it). I don’t see any other solution than to put an end to this war and (finally!) negotiate a global peace plan with Russia. If not, expect many more Russian military… Read more »

lundiel
Reader

The most amazing Putin Nazi thing as of today, is that now Trumps declared American troops are to be withdrawn from Syria, democrats and western liberal (cough) governments are up in arms. The media is full of “Mad Dog” fans from think tanks claiming that America is losing the respect of vassals, who don’t want the boot lifted from their throats. Channel Four news was outraged and Lindsey Hilsum had a breakdown.

Loverat
Reader
Loverat

This article does it for me as I unwind to spend the festive period with my family.

Best wishes for Off-G readers and especially the people of Syria who the UK Government and media have been imposing themselves upon for 7 years.

If this were a UK workplace, we would call this level of attention extreme harrassment and racism.

Syria is a truly amazing model for decency, tolerance, and resiliance.

Far more so than the crap in this country. 2019 will be a year which defines the future for all of us.(mind you, I might have said that last year)

Ken Kenn
Reader
Ken Kenn

Putin’s really missing a trick here. Forget the nukes – the Russian Army and vast network of spies and trolls. All you have to do is visit Wallmart ( USA) and Halfords ( UK) buy half a dozen drones each – that’s 10000 supposed Russian spies in the UK which =’s 60000 drones and fly them near every airport and Military airforce bases. Apparently this brings things to an utter standstill. Obviously the Russian trolls can take the piss whilst it’s occurring and after it’s ended. Meanwhile Guardian journalist’s skiing holidays will be ruined. Nobody gets hurt and the MSM… Read more »

Robert Laine
Reader

And Happy Holidays to you too, CJ. Many thanks for your satire during the year which made me laugh and cry (at our collective plight). Btw, perhaps you can shed some light on a shocking conspiracy theory I recently discovered which claims Santa is actually a neo-liberal shill interested only in increased corporate profits, not children’s joy.

Roberto
Reader
Roberto

Sadly, this article wouldn’t be satire for a large percentage of the population reading the MSM. Just follow the link to the Paul Krugman article in the NYT, which has the same tone as the above ‘satire’ but is apparently meant to be serious, and especially, read the comments from readers. Even Donald’s purported hairpiece is not spared. (Even though I did see ‘Donald’ invite a talk-show host to pull his hair, which he dutifully did, thus debunking* the theory). I thought that perhaps the readers would give Krugman a spanking for his silliness, but they are even more strident… Read more »

Robert Laine
Reader

An ignorant populace and MSN spinning fake news – very sad indeed, Roberto. It took a trip to Peru during a summer break at uni to open my eyes. As a volunteer digging a septic tank for a girls’ school I met articulate (though not necessarily well-educated) Peruvians who filled me in on their views of the realities of US government and international corporation operations which mainly contrasted with NYT reporting. Upon my return, as I stood in a long Miami airport immigration queue consisting mainly of Latin Americans, a functionary walked past shouting “welcome back to the greatest country… Read more »

Makropulos
Reader
Makropulos

I suspect that Owen Jones is a plant to implement a propaganda pincer movement. It goes like this:

“Right wing” media: “Oh my God! Look at that (insert massive pile of steaming bollocks)! What are we going to do?!”

“Left wing” media rep OJ: “Well even although (insert massive pile of steaming bollocks) is true, we’re doing our best to eradicate it!”

Expected public reaction: “Oh my God! (insert massive pile of steaming bollocks) is true! What can be done?!”

DunGroanin
Reader
intergenerationaltrauma
Reader

DunGroanin – thanks for sharing. Murray’s analysis makes perfect sense.

tutisicecream
Reader

The Putin Nazis agenda is moving on OFCOM that toothless tiger of media monitoring has decided [on behalf of GCHQ no doubt] that RT has been expressing a Russian bias about political events in old Blighty. Oh, and the success of the World Cup! Now that’s amazing, do they actually think that old devious “Auntie Beeb” presents an unbiased view of Russia, China, Syria,Venezuela, the Orange Motel Manager and a whole bundle of other malcontent’s and those that see through the flimsy Guardianesque Neo-liberal curtain? CJ’s right to think things can get a lot more “bat shit” crazy. There’s the… Read more »

goat
Reader
goat

Liberal \Lib”er*al\ (l[i^]b”[~e]r*al), a. [F. lib[‘e]ral, L.
liberalis, from liber free; perh. akin to libet, lubet, it
pleases, E. lief. Cf. {Deliver}.]
1. Free by birth; hence, *befitting a freeman* or gentleman;
refined; noble; independent; free; not servile or mean;
Webster’s Revised Unabridged Dictionary (1913)

Roberto
Reader
Roberto

Webster’s 1913. That may well be a 19th Century Liberal (i.e. today’s ‘conservative’ [but not Conservative]).

rtj1211
Reader
rtj1211

In even more crazy news, a Football World Cup without the USA participating was watched by half the world, despite it being a choreographed staged farce, as nothing held in Russia is anything else. Unlike the tournament in eight years time, which will be a smorgasbord of wall-to-wall advertising for beer, coke, macdonalds, and other things bad for your health. Millions of non Americans did the cultural equivalent of visiting Chernobyl by actually going to Russia, talking to Russians, sleeping with a few of their women and, worst of all, drinking their vodka, well at least the non Muslims did.… Read more »

George cornell
Reader
George cornell

A fundamental feature of biological systems is that they cycle up and down. Except for anti-semitism, which according to the scrupulously objective and impartial JDL, Bnai Brith, and all other similar orgs is always on the rise.Especially the “virulent” form , rampant in the Labor Party. Even if it weren’t on the rise, they all know it is anyway. Counting errors are everywhere especially when the counting does not meet expectation. So why count then? Well just so there are numbers at hand in case one of the many troublesome anti-Semites should ask.

kingfelix
Reader

Yes. It’s been the year of vocal, visible, influential UK Jews writing endless hysterical pieces in major newspapers about how Corbyn-led Jew Hate is silencing UK Jews and making them want to leave the Labour Party/move to Country X, only none of them left Labour nor packed so much as a toothbrush.

Derek
Reader
Derek

“A Trump supporter waving Trump’s 2020 campaign poster at a republican rally earlier this year”
seriously? he has very strange supporters if that’s the case.

He looks like he has just consumed a “Putin Burger” in honor of Vlad’s birthday.

Paul Carline
Reader
Paul Carline

Thanks to CJ for this wonderful collection – needs to be preserved for posterity (I don’t mean CJ himself!). Wouldn’t be too sure that we’ve been told the truth about Pittsburgh, though. Far too convenient timing. Meanwhile the Beeb produces its own bit of anti-Muslim, pro-Israel/Jewish propaganda in an episode of the popular “Silent Witness” series. And perhaps the continuing lies about “Russian aggression” in Crimea and Donbas – matched by the near total silence on the daily bombardments of the latter by real Nazis and the presence of British (and probably other) special forces in Eastern Ukraine deserved a… Read more »

harry stotle
Reader
harry stotle

“The Guardian published over one hundred articles smearing Corbyn as an anti-Semite and “linking” Labour to anti-Semitism.” – just over a hundred, eh? I’m suprised the number is so low – some days it felt like they were in the thousands. What a joke the Guardian is – using every trick in the book to undermine opposition to rampant neoliberalism, then whining endlessly about the inevitable consequences that arise from this ideology (such as an impoverished population living in run-down, rented flats). Its hard to know whether to laugh or cry at the sanctimonious tone they adopt, especially when they… Read more »

Robbobbobin
Reader
Robbobbobin

“…grave dangers posed to the leafy suburbs of Hamstead and Golders Green by ‘left-wing extremists’ like Jeremy Corbyn.”

I once hailed a black cab to take me to Golders Green and the cabbie responded, “Just a second, mate, while I put on my GB plates.”

harry stotle
Reader
harry stotle

He, he, he

Tish Farrell
Reader

It’s good to know it’s not just me. I feel like I’m suffering some weird Rip Van Winkle effect. Sometime in 2016 I went to sleep and woke up on the wrong planet. There’s a big paradox here too. Never in the history of this planet have individuals had access to so much instantaneous data, coming at them from all quarters; and never have we seemed quite so credulous. Even people one thought pretty smart seem to have lost their powers of descrimination in the face of mainstream media narratives.

intergenerationaltrauma
Reader

Tish – you are certainly not alone in your observation – (“I feel like I’m suffering some weird Rip Van Winkle effect.”) I find myself wondering, “did I just imagine things in the past were somehow better, or was there really a time when the Western governments and their corporate media at least (tried) to make their lies sound somewhat plausible?” Reporting regarding actual “events” in the actual real “physical world” seems almost completely non-existent. It is as if “reality” is simply being “manufactured to order” in the offices of the CIA & MI6 and then dutifully disseminated by media… Read more »

Tish Farrell
Reader

You have described precisely my own perceptions. But I’m now thinking the lying has always gone on – all about control of trade and resources. (e.g. Thinking of the 19th century Scramble for Africa and the repercussions of that piece of concerted monarchical piracy that still has impact today across that pillaged continent though most of us scarcely realise). It’s perhaps now that individuals have more means to find things out for themselves – that’s if they care to, that the institutional lying has stepped up into the realm of bonkers. And so many conduits available to them too.

DunGroanin
Reader
DunGroanin

That is because all MSM and social media is GASLIGHTING all consumers of it. A mass mesmerism has got people believing they are cats and dogs! However the internet is beyond the reach of the propagandists and indy sites such as this one and indy expert bloggers are able to shine a light and click their fingers, waking people up. It is scary and embarassing to realise that you were so decieved. A exponential coming to senses is happening as we spread the truth to our friends and families – even if they don’t like it. The dots are joining… Read more »

Tish Farrell
Reader

Thank you for those cheering thoughts. At least I think they were cheering.

Fair dinkum
Reader
Fair dinkum

And on top of that CJ, we’re constantly assailed with rampant Sinophobia, Venezuelaphobia and more recently, Yellow Vestaphobia.
I hope the psychopaths are losing lots of sleep.
Hell’s too good for them.

James Connolly
Reader
James Connolly

Just confirms the public will buy the most escpapist conspiracies imaginable so long as they are promoted by ‘respectable’ corporate media. Expect 2019 to see an escalation in the liberal drive to shut down voices of reality and sanity. They know there will be little to no pushback.