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The Rise of the New Normal Reich (Redux)
CJ Hopkins
So I’ve got some good news and some bad news. I’ll give you that news in just a minute,...
How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the New Normal Reich
CJ Hopkins
So the German Supreme Court has ruled on my case. Their ruling is that they will not rule on...
A Visit by the German Thought Police
CJ Hopkins
Three armed Berlin police officers arrived at my door this morning with a warrant to search my apartment. They...
World War III and Other Simulacra
CJ Hopkins
And so the global-capitalist empire’s destabilization and restructuring of the Middle East continues. Yes, I’m referring to Israel’s “preemptive...
Crypto-Fascism, Inc.
CJ Hopkins
I miss the old-school neo-Nazis. You know, the skinheads with the swastika tattoos and the big Nazi flags on...
The Godzilla Window
CJ Hopkins
Has America been made great again enough for you yet? Personally, I don’t know how much more greatness I...
The Enemy of My Enemy
CJ Hopkins
One of the most effective thought-terminating clichés is “the enemy of my enemy is my friend.” It is particularly...
The War on Whatever
CJ Hopkins
The War on Whatever is not meant to be won. It is meant to be continuous, which it is....
The Speech Police
CJ Hopkins
OK, this one is for all the professional “sensitivity editors” out there, and for the US Department of Homeland...
This is Not a Test
CJ Hopkins
Do not adjust your telescreen. This is not a test. It’s a state of emergency! A full-blown national state...
Heil to the Chief
CJ Hopkins
Guess what time it is, boys and girls. Did you guess it? I’m pretty sure you did. That’s right,...
The Year of the Zealot
CJ Hopkins
It was the best of years, it was the worst of years, it was a year of brilliance, it...
A Tale of Two PSYOPS
CJ Hopkins
Once upon a time, on a planet called Earth, there was born a global-capitalist empire. It was the first...
The Revenge of Trumpenstein
CJ Hopkins
So, it’s déjà vu all over again. That’s right, he’s back! Trumpenstein the Monster! Literal Russian-Agent Hitler! The Ayatollah...
Fear and Loathing in New Normal Germany
CJ Hopkins
The first rule of New Normal Germany is, you do not compare New Normal Germany to Nazi Germany. If...
Guilty!
CJ Hopkins
So, the Berlin Appellate Court overturned my acquittal today. I am now, officially, at least according to the New...
The Hate-Crime Commissar of New Normal Berlin
CJ Hopkins
The column you are about to read is a “hate crime.” Or, rather, an alleged “hate crime,” as I...
The New Normal Right
CJ Hopkins
OK, this will be one of my non-satirical essays … or mostly non-satirical essays. It will serve as a...
The People’s Court of New Normal Germany – Part Two
CJ Hopkins
So, my second trial for alleged thoughtcrime-tweeting is going ahead as planned on August 15 in Berlin Superior Court...
The People’s Court of New Normal Germany
CJ Hopkins
Just when I thought things could not possibly get more shockingly totalitarian in New Normal Germany, where I’m being...
