a satire by Terje M
BERLIN,December 17, 1954
The struggle for power in the ruling elites continues unabated after the official loser in the elections for Chancellor last month refuses to concede. Speculations abound about a ‘constitutional coup’, where the Party representatives will overrule the people’s suggestions.
Eva Braun (42) suffered a setback in her quest to be the first female Chancellor, after her loss to Hermann Goering (61), the former minister for aviation, last month. People close to her have stated their displeasure at the result, and have more than hinted that they would seek to overturn the result.
Her campaign was severly impacted by the exposure of several scandals. Leaked documents showed her hobnobbing with leading industrialist for support and funding, reminiscent of her husband’s infamous speech to a similar assembly of industrialists and bankers in 1932, before he got elected. Her husband is widely regarded as a controversial Chancellor with a difficult legacy. Even so, the couple are known for their long-standing charitable activities. The former Chancellor’s kindness to animals is legendary, and together they manage the biggest animal welfare foundation in the country.
“To claim that poglavnik Ante Pavelić of Croatia or ministerpresident Quisling of Norway have a special interest in animal welfare in our country, is simply not credible. This is money in exchange political influence. That makes her accusations against us blatant hypocrisy,” said a spokesman from the Goering-campaign. As a proof of this, he pointed to the fact that donations to this foundation had virtually stopped since she lost the election.
Mrs Braun declared that she is the rightful Chancellor and that her opponent, Hermann Goering, only won thanks to “Bolshevik propaganda and secret gold from the Kremlin”.
“I am the people’s choice,” she declared. The influential think-tank, the Horst Wessel Foundation, with close connections both to the Braun-couple and the military, published the conclusion of their research into the subject:
The strong resistance against Mrs Braun from all over the political spectrum is inexplicable. There is a single force behind all her critics; they all speak from the same playbook. All our opponents are paid by Kremlin gold. Any other explanation is impossible.
Goering-supporters have accused media of being too favourable to Mrs Braun. Mr Goering, a former fighter ace, has enormous support amongst the rank and file of the police and armed forces. He relied more on street-based activities to get his message across. Goering regularly promises to “put Germany first” and extols the virtues of ordinary Germans. He is in favour of registration of certain religions in a special database and stamping their passports with a special letter to designate their status. How this is different from the present state policy, where this is done half in secret by the Homeland Security apparatus, is unclear.
Mr Goebbels, Minister for Public Enlightenment, whose responsibilities includes the press, denied accusations of media bias. “The press does not suffer from any form of Gleichschaltung. Newspapermen are able to make up their own minds. That they all come to a similar conclusion just means that it is probably true. Maybe the Reichsmarschall is a secret Bolshie agent who corresponds with the Kremlin in secret code?”
Mr Julius Streicher, now editor-in-chief of the Völkischer Beobachter, the unofficial ‘newspaper of record’ says:
We keep our focus on the most important subjects. Secret Red influence is one of them. If one of the candidates have serious character flaws, we will – rightly – write about them. The contents of stolen documents are something we are too high-minded to even mention.
Mrs Braun has considerable support from the top brass of the armed forces and security services. Several leading generals and the former chief of the secret police have declared their support for her. Her promises of what in effect would be a direct confrontation with Soviet Russia is a popular policy amongst the top echelons of the security state.
The German army has for several years prepared a ‘pivot to the east’, popularly known as Drang nach Osten, where it has deployed forces in several of its main allies in Eastern Europe, right on the Russian border. Officially this is only on a ‘rotating’ basis, but the Kremlin sees this as a hostile move. “One moment they are there, the next they are not. Why should they worry? It is not like we are planning to attack,” said Mrs Braun in an interview. According to public strategy papers from the general staff, a – hypothetical – war will be a relatively quick and clean affair, over in six weeks, or at maximum, two or three months.
Braun-supporters fear a change in German foreign policy if Mr Goering should manage to avoid the last formal hurdles before he gets sworn in. In addition to the deployment of forces around Russian borders, she is a vocal supporter of pro-German movements all over the world, in what leading academics like to call “the German century”.
After the coup in Ukraine two years ago, the relations between the Soviets regime and Germany have reached a nadir. Russian state media has accused Germany of having overt designs to dominate Ukraine and the Black Sea region. In his memoirs, the former Chancellor, husband of Mrs Braun, who still has a huge influence on German policy, even envisaged the Crimea, which he called “Gotenland”, as a German province.
In addition, the Russians are accusing the German army of supplying ‘weapons, financing and training’ to extreme right wing militias in Ukraine, either directly or through intermediary governments like the extremist Ustaše in Croatia.
“There are moderate Nazis, who are so moderate that you can invite them into your home, and then there are extreme Nazis” explains a political analyst, who wishes to remain off the record, from the Joseph Goebbels Political Research Center in Kiev .”The extreme groups are a small minority. Just ask them the question straight out: ‘Are you an extremist or are you a moderate?’. You will see that more than 99% will answer they are moderates.”
The outspoken, some will say bombastic, Mr Goering is generally seen as less hostile to the Soviet regime. Yet he is no dove. He has pledged to considerably increase armaments spending, with promises to “make Germany great again”. “When was the last time we actually won a war? We seem to lose one after another” asked the Chancellor-elect rhetorically.
He also wants Germany’s allies to pull their own weight. He points out that the German armaments budgets is many times as large as any of it’s allies. He insists they should increase their budgets:
At the moment, we defend them from the Asiatic hordes for free. They should contribute to defending European civilization themselves. If we do the hard work, they should at least buy more of our weapons.”
The jovial Reichsmarschall, a former fighter ace, is nowadays mostly known mostly for his ability to make money. He is seen as the business candidate. In addition, his magnificent mansion Carinhall and his love of hunting, resonates with common people, who likes his aura of a winner.
Mrs Braun prefers a softer approach. In a speech at Ramstein Air Base, from where Wehrmacht operations in Africa are conducted, she declared:
We are, as a matter of empirical fact and undeniable history, the greatest force for good the world has ever known. … security and freedom for millions of people around the globe have depended on Germany’s military, economic, political, and diplomatic might.
She went on to declare she was “influenced by my many years of experience in the Chancellery, watching my husband deal with serious challenges to our nation.”
Ultimately this unseemly fight does not matter. Both candidates are solidly positioned within the ruling structures. The system remains the same. Both candidates agree that Germany is “the exceptional nation”, with the right to be the world’s policeman. They both want to establish “full spectrum dominance” to keep German peace, the so-called Pax Germanica, all over the world. “We are a master people, and other peoples should be grateful that we are committed to the present world order” as Goering said in the second debate between the candidates.
But as a political analyst has said, “There is only one party in Germany, the Property Party … and it has two right wings.” In the end, big money and the military/security complex will probably make sure that our next leader will heed their advice.
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Eh, you forgot Tito who engaged more German troops than any western country and after all that told Stalin and Churchill to stick their 50:50 plan (for splitting Yugoslavia) up their asses.
Great satire Terje. “Those who fail to learn the lessons from history are bound to repeat it”.
The current ‘finger pointing, and blame laying amongst the “intelligence” agencies is making the USA the laughing stock of the World. What a bunch of ‘cry babies’……..
I have to say it again, Hitler WAS NOT elected to power. He was appointed Chancellor by the ageing Hindenburg in 1932. Secondly, the Nazis never obtained a parliamentary majority, even after the enabling acts and the Reichstag fire. Check the historical record.
After months of relative calm, as party representatives voted to confirm Herr Goering as the 45th Chancellor – a wave of violence shook Europe. Although the attacks appeared random, many at the time speculated it may have been a last minute putsch by rogue elements of the Gestapo to destabilize the Fourth Reich.
In Ankara, the Russian ambassador was shot dead – in what seen as an Archduke Ferdinand moment that could have set WW3 in motion. Stalin and the Turkish President said that they would not let it come to that though.
The most serious incident was at a Christmas market in Germany. From initial reports, it was impossible to know exactly what had occurred, though a spokesman for the BBC asserted it was definitely terrorism – without any investigation or evidence to support this. The next morning, although the circumstances were no clearer, the Press Barons chorused that although Stalin had nothing to do with it, Germany should invade anyway.
Along with her husband, Ms Braun was eventually indicted for treason. At a show trial in Nuremberg they were both sentenced to life in prison in the notorious Spandau jail.
Ah, German exceptionalism! 51 percent of Germans polled believe that Germany is indeed the greatest country in the world and that all the other countries are run by little girls. So it must be true! Who cares what the citizens of other countries than Germany think? Because after all as non-Germans they are by definition NOT from the greatest country in the world and therefore their views don’t count. 97 percent of Germans bekieve that Germany is undoubtedly the greatest force for freedom of expression, human rights and democracy in the world. And anyone who doesn’t agree, we’re gonna round ’em up, put ’em in a field and bomb the b***ards!
The Germans are ok. They’ve copped a relentless barrage of propaganda since WWII, and they’ve just got on with turning Germany into a successful country/economy(and shown the rest of Europe how to do it). Everyone likes to think they are the best, just look at the “USA”… “USA”… “USA”………Not to mention Israel who openly refer to themselves as “God’s chosen people”….and they live in “The Holy Land”….Not pretentious are they??
‘They’ve?’ German industrial and economic might was funded by American capital and technological investment – before, during and after WW2. (As was the Soviet Unions – re: Anthony Sutton) The Marshall Plan and the incipient EU were American projects to unite a German led Europe as a vassal state. In this satirical piece Germany=America; in capital terms that holds a real world truth too.
Like all investments, America sought(and gets) a very good return on Capital from those investments.
Capital investment for gain is one thing, targeted investment in an enemy war machine is quite another. I’m talking about technological collusion to produce synthetic gasoline, synthetic rubber, iso-octane for aviation fuel etc. As well as direct investment in the explosive, steel and manufacturing industries – even the Zyklon B was produced by IG Farben/American IG. In short, without America investment, Germany couldn’t have fought another war. No my friend, the real return on investment was paid in Allied and ANZAC blood.
Henry Ford and Adolph Hitler, mutually admired each other. Germany’s tanks had Ford engines in them. The Military Industrial Complex now produces a staggering array of weaponry, and Industrial scale killing of civilians has, and is being achieved by the MIC….
Ford Werke Köln, a vast area in the northern part of the city was never hit by a single bomb although the factory had switched production from normal motor cars to armored vehicles, track vehicles, trucks etc. for the supply of the Wehrmacht. At the same time the overwhelmingly residential center of Cologne was devastated by numerous nightly bombing raids which killed thousands of civilians and seriously damaged Cologne’s cathedral. Other US investments in Germany, especially Standard Oil refineries, factories and labs, received the same preferential treatment by the USAF. Allegedly Roosevelt was disgusted by this but couldn’t do anything to change it.
I believe the Soviet Union turned down getting involved in the Marshall Plan.
Of course, I don’t think Stalin was too keen when Churchill called for a United States of Europe either!
But Churchill never intended that Britain – with its Empire – would ever be part of any United States of Europe.
He envisaged such a body as resolving the long-standing dispute between France and Germany – especially over the battle for resources such as coal, iron and steel – and that the new body would be a bulwark against the Communist bloc. That is why the first European Community body was the Iron, Steel and Coal Community.
Indeed, but Churchill was ever the bellicose Imperialist, not a realist. He may have thought that the “Special Relationship” would endure – but after two world wars Britain was broke and his beloved Empire in terminal decline. Fast forward to the late seventies and we were forced to go cap in hand to the IMF – bye bye “Great” Britain -hello to Thatcherism. The rest they say is history.
I think that the property you own in Muenchen may need extra security soon….hordes of whisky-fuelled Brownites may shatter their tumblers in rage, demanding special rights and privileges from 2019.
In fact you may need to sell up and toddle off somewhere a long way away…New Zealand, Nepal or Hudson Bay come to mind….
I would not keep your birth name either – it may identify your religious propensities. Refusal to eat Bratwurst may also symbolise your refusal to integrate properly, which is regarded most unfavourably….
A.L.Bright on the Western Front….
This is – at one level – very amusing, in presenting alternative caricatures of Clinton and Trump.
However, inclusion of the German word Gleichschaltung does raise another prospect.
A useful definition can be found at http://www.history-ontheweb.co.uk/concepts/concept72_gleichschaltung.htm.
While the US and existing German constitutions provide some degree of protection against the over-centralisation of power, the same is not true in the case of Britain, with its largely unwritten constitution.
Abolition of the Greater London Council (GLC), as well as the West Midlands, Greater Manchester, Merseyside, Tyne and Wear, West Yorkshire and South Yorkshire councils by Mrs Thatcher’s government in 1986 was a very British form of Gleichschaltung and but the latest in a long line of legislative acts designed to centralise power.
It is true that some powers have been reassigned back to the Greater London Assembly (GLA), Scottish Parliament, Wales Assembly and Northern Ireland Assembly but Westminster and Whitehall in London still retain most of the power and still retain the power to take back any powers they have given away.
Where the US needs to take note is how Hitler manipulated his subordinates, through the practice of rarely issuing written orders and leaving it up to his officials to work out how they should “move towards the Fuhrer”.
This meant areas of official policy were often based on chance remarks by Hitler to an associate or subordinate.
Could the US White House find its policies being determined by those “moving towards the Trump”?
Will a Blair-style “sofa” management hierarchy become established under a Trump Presidency?
Update: Mr Trump has secured 304 Electoral College votes, compared with 227 for Hillary Clinton.
He will be sworn-in as the 45th US President on 20th January 2017.